Monday, December 01, 2014

Subtle or Direct Communication?

I forgive my impatience  and love how direct I am.
I choose to speak the Highest Truth I know.
I let go of self judgment when I share what I hear within.
I appreciate myself for being honest when I am clear.

What do you prefer?
Do you prefer people being nice or saying what they mean?
Do you like lots of words or concise statements?
Would you rather hear the whole story or the bottom line?

Everyone likes something different.
Some folks are story-tellers.
The humor, interest and energy is in telling the story.
Some folks just want to get to the point.

When we stop judging how people say what they are saying, we can really get the message.
When we listen to what others are really saying, we feel gratitude and respect.
When we hear what is being said from the heart, we know what is the other’s perspective.
When we honor the message being given, we know what is right and true for us.

Perhaps the confusion, conflict or resistance comes from not wanting to hear what is being said.
Perhaps the truth being shared is what we resist and dread.
Perhaps we don’t want to know what we already know is right and true.
Perhaps some prefer not hearing, knowing and honoring with is true for you.

Are you afraid to say what you want?
Do you resist knowing others want something else?
Do you prefer just doing things your own way?
Are you not really listening to the words others want to say?

Are you willing to assert your own choices and truths?
Are you allowing others to assert their choices too?
Do you continue to be kind to one and all?
Are you open to letting go of your position and allowing others’ their say first?

Bottom line, You encourage others to tell their thoughts and feelings by being a safe place.
Ask others if they want to hear your thoughts and feelings, to encourage safety for your sharing.
Create open communication, concise and direct or rambling sagas, by being an open willing listener.
Refrain from or forgive judgments, interrogation or unrequested commenting on others’ sharing.

We tend to copy the type of communication we are accustomed to without understanding others.
Give your listening and sharing time to observe what works and what doesn’t work.
Let others show you what they prefer.
Be clear about what you prefer and ask what works for them.

Our primary work in relationship is to create respect, honesty, kindness and safety.
I am loving you sometimes concise and sometimes with lots of words.
Read just what you want and let the rest go.
I want to be clear that I want you to respect and honor YOU!
Betty Lue

Toxic thoughts, words and actions must be dumped in safe ways.
Never puke and poop on people.
What is hurtful and makes us sick physically or emotionally should be released in private dumping grounds.
Learn to flush the toilet, write it and burn it, let it go to do no harm.
There is no need to express hurtful thoughts or feelings on anyone for any reason.

Most Destructive Blocks to Healthy Communication
1) Nagging and Criticism ( Use constructive requests and be specific.)
2) Defensiveness (Listen and make no excuses.)
3) Contempt with Name-Calling, Belittling and Shaming ( No using guilt or blame.)
4) Stone-Walling, Ignoring and silent treatment  ( Talk or write when calm.)
5) Belligerence, Threatening, Demanding ( Forgive yourself for using power to get your way.)

Keys to Successful Relationships (Constructive choices)

Join with Love and Respect-Create a common vision or shared goal.

Honesty with compassion and kindness- Communicate your highest intention.

Equality in Realizing the Good in All-Each give the best they know in each moment.

Commitment to Healing and Wholeness- Agree to what is highest and best for both. 

Responsibility- Respond to everything with forgiveness and peace. 
Listen without guilt or blame. Be willing to let go and choose again for Love.