Saturday, November 29, 2014

Stop Complaining!

I no longer need other’s approval. I now approve of myself.
I am highly pleasing to myself in the presence of others.
I live my life exactly the way it is highest and best for me.
I trust my choices and no longer need to complain or blame.

One reader’s amazing awarenesses:
“When I went to see you, all I wanted was to complain about all things I felt he was doing and not doing, that it was all blocking me from progressing, and causing me so much pain. I was intrigued/disappointed and curious about the things you said. You didn't want to hear about him at all. You kept bringing me back to myself. I even felt a hint of feminist angst that manifested in thoughts such as: "So it's all on us, women, to fix things?" and "Does she also think I'm the only one with the problem?"

But I knew there was more to it, it wasn't a new message, and was triggering an inner knowing, so I let it simmer...slowly, it's sinking in me as to why you take that approach. As long as I look outside myself, it seems I will feel weak. And as long as I look at what's wrong. I will keep my inner power from aligning with Creation, which is exactly what I need to do in order to accomplish anything in this life. I need to stop this game I'm playing: being afraid of it, yet desiring my power to arise. I'm stuck in this contradiction, wanting and pushing it away. It's very exhausting.

No Complaining or Blaming Please!

We lull ourselves into the myth of victimization when everything is about what they did or didn’t do.
We make ourselves frustrated or inconsolable, when we keep thinking it is what they did wrong.
We cannot do our own work, if we constantly focus on getting “him” or “them” to do their work.
How can we see ourselves when we are constantly looking at another?

Who is responsible for your life?
Who is responsible for your beliefs?
Who is responsible for your feelings?
Who is responsible for your choices?

If not, You, then Who is responsible?

Are you living in the delusion that the other person is responsible for your success or failure?
Do you honestly believe that someone else is responsible for your happiness or unhappiness?
Have you made someone else responsible for what you think or say or do?
Is it really true that you think “they” made you do it?

Yes, others have influence when we are unconscious, weak, drugged or ignorant.
Others create opportunities to choose “NO” or “YES”.
Others are in our space, to influence us much like subliminal advertising
But in the end, it is ourselves who choose what to believe, what to feel and what to choose.

We are responsible for our lives.
It is our ability to respond that teaches us what works and what doesn’t work.
It is our willingness to take care of our whole self that allows us to be response-able.
It is with self honesty that we stop lying, cheating and stealing from ourselves.

When we complain or blame, we are thinking, feeling and behaving like we are dependent.
When we act dependent, we allow others to tell, demand and even threaten to get what they want.
We make ourselves seem needy and afraid like a child needing someone to care for them.
When we weaken ourselves by deceiving ourselves and others with words of complaint and blame.

Complaining or whining is a habit learned usually in early childhood to get attention.
The habit is reinforced by those who console or cajole us in meeting our needs.
Blaming, tattling or gossiping to friends and family is another means of getting attention.
When we use these weak tactics learned in childhood we disempower and dilute our effectiveness.

Stop negative weakening habits.
Start taking 100% responsibility.
Begin with what you can do.
Appreciate yourself for changing your mind.

Complaining wastes energy.
Whining weakens our self image.
Blaming is ineffective.
Finding fault create guilt, withdrawal and/or retaliation.

Empower Your Words of clarity, focus, forgiveness and affirmation.
What you say, others hear as your truth.
Be consistent, concise, coherent and conscious.
Your words flavor your communication with what you want to be heard and digested.

Be aware and affirming.
Loving you, 
Betty Lue