Thursday, March 06, 2014

Trying To Be Helpful and Kind!

I am most helpful, when I take impeccable care of myself.
What is best for me is best for others.
I let go of fixing or being attached to others’ changes.
I allow others to take care of themselves and their own learning and growth.

When we try too hard, we may deplete ourselves.
When we do too much, we may sacrifice.
When we take care of others, we may deny ourselves.
When we give too much, we may expect something in return.

When we try to help because we think it is needed, we may teach others to depend on us.
When we give to teach or tell when not asked, we may make them feel less or inadequate.
When we do what others can do for themselves, we may keep others feeling weak or babied.
When we give to others to make them love us, we may make them feel entitled to always get.

People may become resentful when we give what we think they want.
People may feel guilty about no being so giving or helpful or kind.
People may stay away or resist our kindness, because they feel manipulated.
People may simply not care about what we deem important or essential.

Givers may attract takers.
Givers may foster dependence.
Givers may create neediness.
Givers may burn out and become resentful.

When we focus on what is wrong or needs to be fixed, we are generating more dependence.
In a time where people learn to manipulate to get their needs met, we need to forgive ourselves.
In a way we empower the weak and may criticize or judge the strong.
We may make it right or clever to “do less and get more”.

To give to those who want to receive and will learn and benefit, we must be awake and aware.
Give to those who ask, as long as it does no harm to them or to you.
Give to those who are appreciative of the gifts we give.
Give to those who give to others and pay it forward.

When I am asked for help:
I set aside private time.
I make the giving confidential.
I give the best I have when I am at my best.
I honor my own needs first and give with gratitude and joy.
I receive the learning and help I share with a replenishment.
I am grateful for the gratitude and respect I receive.
I say “No” with love when it is not best for me.
I model the highest I know in offering help and kindness.
I treat others’ choices with respect and allowance.
I trust everyone to make their own choices from which to learn.
I show up, pay attention, tell the highest truth I know and detach from the outcome.
I give my best and forgive the rest.

Being truly helpful and kind is allowing others to live and learn without our interference.
Being truly helpful may be to trust people to do what they do, to get the result they need to learn.
Being truly helpful is often saying “No” with kindness and letting others find their own way.
Being truly helpful may be to simply acknowledge, “I know you can do it yourself.

Let go of attachment on always being the giver.
Be helpful and kind to yourself first.  
Betty Lue

 Letter of Learning from a Reminders Reader

You really helped me to not try to get them to eat more healthy, nutritious food.  
If I fix a nutritious something for them to try, that's okay, knowing they may or may not want to try it or finish it. Letting go of the result is harder, but I do it only if I feel I'm not attached to the outcome. Sometimes, I find I have attachment to the outcome, so I know I need to release it.

If I don't clean their kitchen, bathroom etc at his home, it doesn't get done.  What I'm doing is cleaning here & there when I have the time and when I won't have any resentment or judgments.  If I do, I need to stop what I'm doing to not bring a negative vibe into the situation.

It's a challenge, but I'm spreading my wings with what I am to be and do re: my Soul's Purpose and making progress re: that.  When I make mistakes and choose wrongly, I mostly let go and choose again.  
If I don't do it right away, I know I need to let go, forgive, surrender, allow and trust.  I don't do it perfectly, but I'm clearing up mistakes and wrong choices much faster.

I really appreciate your wisdom! This Loving Reminder is reminding me to pay even more attention re: the learning situations I face and let go even more. Having more fun and freedom to be and do makes me helps me let go of carrying any false responsibility.