Whenever there is an upset, you are responsible. (“response able” or able to respond)
Whenever there is a misunderstanding, you can heal it.
When you are angry or hurt for any reason, you can respond with love.
When you don’t’ know what to do or say, step away.
When you are trying to defend yourself, it just makes the other more defensive.
When you are blaming yourself or the other in any way, it will not heal.
When you are feeling attacked, stop attacking back and step away.
When you are trying to get approval or understanding, you may make matters worse.
The key to healing is inner peace.
The key to responding with Love is forgiveness..
The key to success in relationships is joining, honesty, equality, commitment and responsibility.
The key to a healthy relationship is for each party to take full responsibility for healing the upset.
All healing is done within our own minds.
All forgiveness comes from clearing the past with erasing it with Love.
Clarity comes from awareness without judgment.
To be aware, we must clear our emotional attachments.
When we take responsibility for our inner peace, we have stepped into the realm of healing.
When we are willing to do the work, we bring peace to every mind and every situation.
When we recognize the powerful tool we have within us, we can use it at anytime.
The work then begins with us, by stepping away and doing our own work.
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Self Healing Exercise:
(use liberally for any upset!)
When either person is not at peace, confused, upset in any way....
Stop talking immediately, excuse yourself and step away to a private place.
Sit by yourself and write at the top of the page:
The real reason I am upset is because:
Begin writing everything that comes in your mind.
Repeat the statement each time “The real reason is:”
Do not stop until you have no more mental responses and even then say again: “The real reason is”
You will both discover all the reasons have nothing to do with what is real.
They are made up in our minds by past similar experiences.
They all belong to our own beliefs and history.
We seem to keep repeating until we begin the process of deleting.
You do not need to share with each other your writings, but you may if you wish.
You do not talk about them.
You do not engage in further connection or conversation until you are clear.
You return to the relationship having cleared, forgiven and come to peace with yourself.
If there are residualbeliefs you are holding against yourself and each other, there is a need for more.
See below one tool you can use mightily for the rest of your life.
Using affirmations for forgiving the origin is always effective.
Example.
“I forgive you ____ of not telling me the truth.
I forgive myself for believing you and feeling betrayed.
I love you ___ and I know you love me too.”
All upsets are past similars.
They are all invitations to forgive.
As long as we blame others or feel guilty, we are not clear.
As long as we are seeking the other’s forgiveness or approval, we are not clear.
As long as we want to defend or explain ourselves or get their explanation, we are not clear.
Our work in every relationship is taking full responsibility for being happy, in love and at peace.
Forgiveness is an eraser filled with love.
I highly recommend. the 30 day process below to begin practicing daily.
I highly recommend that you begin to use the “Real Reason” process above for every upset.
Loving us all and always encouraging everyone to come together in peace and love in each new moment.
Let’s Stop making each other sick by spreading the germs of upset and discontent.
We are to share the gifts of high level wellness, peace and joy and love,
Betty Lue
30 Days to Healing and Seeing things Differently!
This exercise has a profound impact on how we see and live our lives.
This daily practice will heal and transform your life
With continued practice, there will be a spiritual awakening.
Forgiveness heals our perception and gives us Response-Ability.
Choice empowers us to Create our Experience Consciously.
Gratitude expands what we Choose and increases our Joy.
Daily Practice:
Begin each morning with a pad of lined paper and a pen.
Write and say 30 forgivenesses as they come to mind.
Simply write “I forgive”…and let the rest just come from within.
(No need to understand or feel anything.)
I forgive you for being mean.
I forgive myself for letting anyone hurt me.
I forgive my body’s limitation.
I forgive myself for being late.
I forgive everything.
Make the sound “AAAH” for 1minutes.
Imagine that you are opening your mind.
Now write and say 30 Choices.
I choose to be happy.
I choose to be free.
I choose to do what I love.
I choose to forgive….
In the Evening (before bed)
Write and say 30 Gratitudes
I appreciate the energy I have.
I love being happy.
I am grateful I have you in my life.
I thank God.
Make the sound “OM” the Universal sound for Love and God for 1 minute.
PS
Even a few of each is better than none.
Do what you can and trust it is working.
Even when you are driving to work, you can do this process aloud.
The key is your willingness to DO THE WORK!
Loving You always, Betty Lue