All criticism is about the critic.
If it fits for you, learn from it.
If it doesn’t fit, help it all heal.
Whatever the criticism, we benefit and bless others.
When we are able to hear criticism and heal it with forgiveness and gratitude, we are blessed.
When we are willing to receive criticism and heal the wounds in us, we are blessed.
Either way we need not be wounded but rather reminded to forgive and heal everything.
What a gift to receive every criticism as a call for love and healing for everyone.
When we are bumped, we may criticize our critics.
When our buttons are pushed, we may resist and push back.
When we feel attacked or offended, we add to the offense by allowing ourselves to be wounded.
If the criticism fits, thank the critic, forgive all defensiveness and choose to heal what is hurting.
Constructive criticism often hurts as much as destructive criticism.
Correcting someone may be perceived as unloving and hurtful.
When we intend to help another, we need to ask inside and out, if help is wanted.
When we attempt to educate, enlighten, protect and benefit another, we need to know it will work.
When someone in my world asks for help, advice, counsel, information, I respect their request.
I provide a safe place and time constraints, so that both will feel blessed.
When people pay for my help with gratitude, respect, using it well, supporting my work financially, it know my work is valued.
When I have misunderstood my role and their request, I must step back and be silent.
People learn best from their own natural experiences.
People benefit most when they are eager to learn.
People feel blessed by those who are loving and respectful.
People value help from those who are living in integrity with their teachings.
And so it is, that I learn from every encounter, every experience, every interaction.
I appreciate feedback, both positive and negative because I learn about myself and the other.
When I am defensive, I know I have allowed myself to feel hurt by my own self judgment.
When I am appreciative, I know I have been blessed by another’s experience and truth.
When anyone shares with us, they care enough to give their current experience.
When we feel ‘criticized”, It is often because we feel guilty and vulnerable.
When we feel “served”, it is because we know we are loved and valued.
Our feelings are an inside job, depending on our current relationship with ourselves.
When I am vulnerable, sensitive and defensive, I know I need to take better care of myself.
More alone time, more self loving time, more inner listening time, more time serving myself well.
When I am self confident, trusting and respecting myself, I know in my defenselessness my safety lies.
Perhaps our work is to forgive, accept and trust everyone more, including ourselves.
Loving us all as one as we live and learn together,
Betty Lue
From Louise Hay ©1988
How To Love Yourself
1. STOP ALL CRITICISM
Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
2. DON’T SCARE YOURSELF
Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
3. BE GENTLE AND KIND AND PATIENT
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
4. PRAISE YOURSELF
Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
5. BE KIND TO YOUR MIND
Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
6. SUPPORT YOURSELF
Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
7. BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES
Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.
8. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY
Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
9. MIRROR WORK
Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you!”
10. LOVE YOURSELF...DO IT NOW
Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now, and do the best you can.