Thursday, June 23, 2011

No Fighting Please!

Sure, it is hot.
Yes, some are addicted to arguing.
Even those who don’t like to fight often want to be “right”.
Some even thrive on the “make up sex.”

Fighting is a waste of energy and a killer of intimacy and trust.
Fighting is the need to be right.
Fighting is trying to make the other lose.
Fighting is risking the relationship in order to win.

Fighting never results in greater respect.
Fighting leads to loss of safety and trust.
Fighting leads to more fighting for victory.
Fighting causes both parties to lose in the end.

How do you stop fighting?
It only takes ONE.
If there is no counter attack. there is no fight.
There is no need to make anyone wrong.

Set rules which work.
State your opinion once only.
When the other counters your opinion, drop your position.
Acknowledge that you can see their viewpoint and let it go.

When two people argue, they are just stubbornly needing to make the other lose or give in.
When two people fight about anything, they are simply encouraging resistance.
When two people fight over a fact, they are perceiving things from their own point of view.
When two people conflict over values, they have a values difference.

There is only the need to agree to disagree.
Two people will perceive ideas, beliefs, truths, situations, history and conversations differently.
Two people will hear the same words and view the same situation totally different.
We are all seeing, hearing, feeling and thinking through our own unique filters.

When you want to hear the other’s perception or truth, ask and listen.
Never argue if you want them to trust you are a safe place to share.
Step away from disagreeing unless there is the potential harm to someone or something.
Stop after one expression of disagreement….no followup, no attempt to understand or fix.

Let it go.
Love works when we trust and free ourselves and others to be, do, have and learn our own way.
Love works when we listen always with a need to understand and not to be understood.
Love requires enough maturity to stop trying to convince, change or get others to agree with us.

Love is more important than winning.
Love works best when it is top priority.
Love is the key to healing nations, people, religions and relationships.
Always seek for a win/win solution with no loss to anyone.

Loving us all as we let go of our need to be right!
Betty Lue
Try this instead of arguing to remind You!

¤      I love you      ¤
and I know you love me too.

LOVE IS FREEDOM

The freedom for you and I to be who we are.
The freedom to live life as we do.
The freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.
The freedom to express our own truth as we see it.


 
LOVE IS TRUST

The trust that there is a constant flow of love,
no matter what.
The trust that, in spite of life’s problems,
we believe in and support each other’s right
to live as we choose.
The trust that in adversity,
there is healing and learning and gifts of love.
The trust that under conflict and emotional expression,
there is love

I love you and I trust you.
I free you to be all you are.

Betty Lue 1978