Tuesday, June 22, 2010

What Is Your Concern?

In response to a question…….
Do you try to keep others from making mistakes?
Do you interfere when others are communicating or relating in a style different than yours?
Do you worry about what to say or how to help others handle their problems?
Do you think you know what is best for others to do

What is your business? 
Do you want others meddling in your choices, mistakes, embarrassments?
Do you want your family telling, suggesting, advising you when there is an upset?
Do you like it when others give you helpful and well-meaning but unsolicited comments?

When aware of another’s issues with finances, job, health, etc, what is your concern?When is it your business?
Is it helpful to ask why?
Does it bring clarity and peace to get involved?
Do your fears, your experiences, your beliefs help or hurt, clarify or confuse?

Consider being a good therapist, consultant, or coach.
Wait until asked…specifically and clearly.
Set a time with privacy as well as mutually agreed upon beginning and ending time.
Ask exactly what is wanted from you: to just listen, to ask questions, to give feedback, to advise?
Respect your need for compensation: thanks, mutual opportunities for you, respecting your help, etc.

Stay out of other’s business until invited to help.Usually we learn best from natural consequences.
People need to experience the outcome of their choices without outside interference, threats or advise.
And only give the help that is needed and wanted.

Set a time that provides confidentiality and uninterrupted room for the help.Respect yourself and the other by giving your full attention to the request.
When we set aside a special time which is ideal for both parties, it gives credibility to the experience.
An appointed hour creates a focus, an agenda and a desired outcome of completion,

Ask what is wanted so that there is fulfillment and success for both parties.Many people simply want to be heard which means to just listen fully.
Some may want feedback or advice when they are complete.
Therapists and coaches are taught to ask meaningful questions and provide guidance and direction.

Respect the need for reciprocity, both giving and receiving by both parties.When we allow others to use us and dump their toxic waste on us, we become the dumping ground.
When compensated with respect, gratitude and generosity, we feel satisfied with our helpfulness.
Allow others to have their experience and receive the gifts and blessings from their life choices.

We are all connected.
Everyone’s healing benefits us all.
However, it is not helpful to meddle in others learning opportunities.
So respect, accept and attend the sensitivity of others’ life journey.

Loving us all as one,  

Betty Lue

You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life

If you would grow to be your best self
Be patient, not demanding
Accepting, not condemning
Nurturing, not withholding
Self-marveling, not belittling
Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing

For you are more sensitive than you know
Mankind is tough as war
Yet delicate as flowers
We can endure agonies
But we open fully only to warmth & light
And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance
Dispersed by storms of will
To return only when those storms are still

So accept, respect,
Attend your sensitivity

A flower
Cannot be opened
With a hammer

Anonymous