Monday, February 19, 2007

Speak Up or Shut Up?

Have we become a generation who thinks that speaking the truth is impolite?
Are we so afraid of hurting someone's feelings that we have stopped speaking at all?
Are we so careful about being nice to get approval that we no longer are honest?
Is it possible that we wait too long to say what needs to be said?

People (children and adults) learn in their relationships with one another.
When we are too busy, too hurt or upset, too scared of consequences that we no longer talk,
we cannot learn how to heal and grow, how to communicate and relate.
When the anger or hurt builds from lack of expression, there can be explosion or depression.

Much of the lack of respect, responsibility and cooperation that seems to be right now,
is only because no one is teaching or modeling how to be in Real Relationship.
Make a list of all the communication withholds you have with someone.
Choose the one communication that seems to be most important.
Ask for an appointed time.
Take time to express and then listen.

If you have completed communication authentically, there will be forgiveness immediately.
If you are not harboring a history of upset, there will be a complete letting go and new beginning.
If you are honest in your communication, there will be an ability to listen to the other express.
If you can conceive of what you want when you have erred, you will be respectful.

I Often forgive and move on without speaking up.
I know it is complete with nothing to do, because I do not think of it again.
If I have a memory or am haunted by an experience, I need to say or do something.
I usually listen within by asking, "How can I heal and clear, teach and learn from this experience?"

Speaking up does not mean attacking, blaming, belittling.
Speaking up means stating your feelings and stating the facts.
Speaking up means making a request for the highest outcome.
Speaking up means owning your own responsibility in the apparent problem.

I feel …when I see….because I ……..
Or I feel….I want ……I am willing………

I am loving you and learning too.
Betty Lue