"I want to ask you about your statement--"You can learn to be trusting and free." Does that apply only to trusting myself or to other people? Men promise more than they intend or are willing to do. That is his issue and I don't know if he plans to work on cleaning that up. Do I believe what he says or wait and see if he his actions match his words? I feel I've trusted him and have had my trust betrayed. Is it his job to ask for my trust? I like to trust people--if they show me they can't be trusted and I don't stop trusting them, then isn't that harming myself to think they'll be different? I'm confused. To me love and trust and respect go together."
We can trust another to the degree they trust and respect themselves. Most people are so busy trying to find someone to trust, they neglect their own self trust. When we find what we think we want, we are in the business of "getting" it. We may compromise our integrity to "get" what we want. We may lie, cheat and steal another's relationship to "get" what we want. We may say what the other wants to hear. And then of course we fear we will be found out, because of course we know we will. How can I trust anyone else if and when I am not living wholly in integrity myself.
People give us clues every time they change their minds, forget what they said before, tell us what we want to hear, withhold some fear or judgment they may have, be nice or conciliatory, etc.
If others give in to our desires to make us happy, that is a clue that they might not be loving themselves.
"I trust you are always doing the best you know to be safe, to get what you think you need to be safe.
Your intention is to love you and love me. I can trust that.
Your way of loving me may be to try not to hurt me or disappoint me.
Or your way of loving might be to lie to me or keep your feelings to yourself, so you won't make me unhappy and angry.
You want to be loved and avoid rejection, abandonment, guilt and punishment."
These are very human thoughts and feelings and there are many more that learned from early childhood.
Remember you cannot trust thoughts or feelings. Not yours or others.
Thoughts and feelings are temporary, learned and changeable.
You can only trust inner knowing, the Truth within...
Thoughts and feelings are created by the personality, ego or learned self.
Both change according to the circumstance and relationship.
These thoughts and feelings are designed to protect the ego self from harm.
They are our best attempt at self preservation.
They are choices each person makes early in physical life.
While they may no longer fit current circumstances, they often stay in place for a lifetime.
Thoughts and feelings simply tell us when we are in fear and not in love.
Thoughts and feelings create our behaviors. They tell on us.
They show others where we need healing and love.
It is the work of the most conscious partner to recognize when and where Love is needed. It is the function of the most conscious partner to forgive any perceived harm and Love again. It is the practice of the most conscious partner to practice not taking anything personally. It is all our work to seek for what is True, Loving and Good for All. The Truth can only be found through inner KNOWING.
Let’s let go of thinking we know until we really Know.
Betty Lue
We are all trying to find the Truth and chew on the Truth.
“Is this what they mean by a T (tea) party?”
We might find the T truth more easily by simply having a cup of tea together??
