Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Wants and Needs

Do you know the difference?
In our culture, we often say we need what we want.
Our needs are few and basic.
It is important to look at what we “need” to thrive.
What we want often camouflages what we really need.
What we think we need often distracts and delays having what we truly need.

What do we need to survive?
Food, water, warmth (clothing, shelter, fire), air.
What else do you believe you need to survive?

What do we need to thrive?
We need safety from harm.
We need security from fear.
We need belonging to family or community.
We need confidence and self worth.
We must learn and expand our awareness.
We need to know we can contribute
We need to be productive and achieve.
We need to practice, master and excel.
We need to believe in a greater power and purpose.
What else do you believe you need to thrive?

What we need must take precedence over what we want.
The complexity of decision, diversity of options, temptation of pleasures challenge our focus.
We must attend to our true and real needs first.
We must honor the real needs of our children first.
We must recognize the developmental continuum, rather than missing steps along the way.
We must clarify and prioritize our values.
We must differentiate between needs and wants.

What do we want?
Christmas presents and decorations, coffee and pastries, fine restaurants or fast food,
hair coloring and tummy tucks, movies and TV, the latest clothes and shoes, parties and social events, a bigger house and nicer car, unlimited wealth and retirement savings.
What do you want?
Is there any real need that is unmet in your self?
Why not meet your real needs first?
Perhaps our “wants” are merely cover-ups for unexposed “needs”.
Perhaps are “wants” are believe quick fixes for the pain of ignoring our real “needs”.

Do your children have their “needs” met?
Or are you listening to their learned “wants”?
Have you learned to take care of your own “needs”?
Now is the time to learn, practice and come to peace.
You will discover what you “want” fades into nothingness.

Loving you,
Betty Lue
To thrive, I need to write and read, listen and remember to these Loving Reminders.:)