It is futile and frustrating to try to fix, correct, or change others who have not asked for our help. This is a form of judgment or attack on them and they will resist, resent, be offended or hurt. They may withdraw, act out, blame you or feel defensive. It is always best to help only when requested. Be sure about exactly the kind of help being sought before you open your mouth or your pocketbook. We often jump to our own conclusions and step in where and when our help is not helpful.
Being truly helpful requires:
See the other person as whole and Holy.
Give only what is being asked for.
Give only if it it given with gratitude and love.
There must be no sacrifice in the giving. Martyrdom causes guilt.
Guilt perpetuates the pain and the problem.
Listen within to see the Highest and best Loving Reminder that is being called forth. Ask if you are unsure.
Your Love and your listening are enough.
If the other asks for advice or input, share.
When in doubt, give what you would want to receive.
Listen inside for your inner guidance.
Respond always with respect and compassion.
Never feel sorry or pity the other.
Never get angry for your over-giving.
If you find yourself over-extended, forgive yourself and take care of yourself first.
A drowning person cannot be saved by someone who is drowning.
Loving you and always receiving the Good that is freely given to All,
Betty Lue