Friday, January 16, 2015

Create Harmony in Your Family!

I choose to create harmony in myself and my relationships.
I live with honesty, respect and responsibility.
I appreciate my family and humanity with my thoughts, words and activities.
I teach by example and live what I teach.

I asked my 9 yr old granddaughter what to teach the parents at my recent Parenting Workshop.
She thought for a minute and gave me this list verbatim.
Things will change in your family if you use here suggestions.
Observe when the adults all abide by the rules you apply to your children.

Family Rules for Parents (from my 9 yr. old granddaughter)

#1 Don’t yell……unless absolutely necessary.
When asked what would make it necessary.  She said, “To stop someone from getting hurt.”

#2 Don’t get angry, when someone is having a tantrum, Comfort them.

#3 Give everyone responsibilities.  So they don’t get spoiled.

#4 Only give allowance or rewards, when their responsibilities are done.

I grew up with a large extended family in Michigan, where everyone helped everyone.
No matter what the difference in ages, education, beliefs, or culture, everyone got along.
There was willingness to be truly helpful and caring, kindness and sharing.
At annual family reunion, everyone helps to prepare meals, takes care of kids and clean up.

I was part of a family team where we had similar goals, total honesty and all participated.
We were committed to finding solutions where everyone was happy and no one felt lost or left out.
We were all give responsibilities appropriate for our age and all did our jobs happily.
Because this is what I experienced from 1 yr. old, it is natural for me to be helpful and respectful.

I grew up in a family with no yelling, threats or demands.
I grew up in a family with no fighting, name-calling or blaming.
I grew up in a family with no gossip, shameful or unhappy story telling.
I grew up in a family with no worry or fear-mongering.

There was simply love, trust and freedom to be and do as we chose.
There was strong faith in God, with no special religious beliefs, accepting all religions.
There was a happy desire to be helpful and kind to one another and humanity.
There was  a deep calling to do Good in our world, beginning with our own family.

Key guidelines for all relationships and families, businesses and partnerships.
Respect one another with no hurting physically, emotionally or financially.
Be responsible for your words and behavior, actions and inaction.
Cooperate by caring for one another, doing what is fair, sharing what you have.

When everyone helps everyone, the work gets done.
When everyone helps everyone, we all have fun.
When everyone helps everyone, we feel like one.
When everyone helps everyone, life is fun, safe and easy.

I believe you can change your world by changing you.
What you conceive and believe, you can achieve.
Loving you, Betty Lue

Workshops and classes are available audio online and Sunday talks on video.
Books are available at and from us directly.
No one turned away for counseling, coaching, learning and growth due to money limitations.
We are here to be truly helpful to everyone who asks with sincere desire to benefit.

Keys to Successful Relationships
Joining-Create a common vision or shared goal.
Honesty- Communicate your true intention without secrets or withholds. 
Equality-Each is giving the best they know in each moment.
Commitment- Agree to what is highest and best for both parties.
Responsibility- Respond consciously to all relationship needs without guilt or blame. Be respectful and forgiving of mistakes made.

Successful Relationships

To have successful relationships with partners, spouse, coworkers, teammates, children there are five essential factors: Joining, Honesty, Equality, Commitment, Responsibility.

Joining: All parties must share a common goal or vision for their relationship. This shared vision comes from communication regarding the needs of each individual, their vision for the future and what they share in common.

Honesty: Honest communication is sharing what really matters with no blame, guilt or withholds.
Honest is a byproduct of integrity, living one’s life on purpose with openness and appreciation.

Equality: When both parties are giving their best in each moment, there is equality.  Equality is not measured by comparison: it is experienced when there is the willingness to give one’s best even when it is less than the other.  To quit or hold back on one’s giving creates inequality.

Commitment: To commit to the fulfillment of the desired vision or goal and to the success of the relationship requires always choosing what is best for both.  Decisions are based on what is a win/win for all concerned.  One must be committed to what is highest and best for each party.

Responsibility: Being fully able and willing to respond to whatever is needed to create success through joining, honesty, equality and commitment is being fully responsible.  Where there is guilt or blame being communicated, there is inequality and victimization as well as lack of responsibility.

To be successful requires staying conscious.
To be successful requires a willingness to communicate with respect.
To be successful requires an acceptance of differences.
To be successful requires open-minded and appreciation of all parties.

To take on unconscious patterns of dysfunctional family systems will limit the success of one’s joining, honest communication, true willingness to give., total commitment to what is best for all and assuming full responsibility for the quality of the relationship.

If you want success and fulfillment in your relationships, begin today to observe what you can do to improve them in every way.  
You need not depend upon the other changing in order to increase the quality of your relating.

Blessings for choosing a better way,
Betty Lue

When you know who you are, you will love yourself.
When you live what you know, you will respect yourself.
When you do as you are guided, you will trust yourself.
When you love, trust and respect yourself, you will be whole and happy and free.