Tuesday, January 07, 2014

No More Guilt, Please

I forgive all lack of love and return to Love.
I release my fear and judgments and choose to see things differently.
I bless my self and my choices as I offer your my love and respect.
The more I love, respect and accept my choices, the more I love and respect yours.

Humanity has used “GUILT” to get people to change.
Humanity has used “SHAME” to make people change.
Humanity has perhaps made things worse by making people feel bad about their behavior.
If I have made you feel guilty, please forgive my error.

From observing families, couples and institutions, I have learned guilt usually does not work.
Guilt rarely produces the desired result of “I am sorry, I will never do that again!”
Guilt almost always causes the opposite experience, which is withdrawal, blame and doing it again.
When people feel guilty, they usually get mad or stay away from the person who causes the guilt.

When we become aware we have hurt others or ourselves, we usually get mad, shut down and deny.
When people are critical, threatening, demanding, they often feel guilty themselves.
When people want to create change, they must always begin within.
When people wake up to their lack of love, trust, sensitivity and compassion, they often withdraw.

It seems difficult to love ourselves and not feel guilt when we are not loving.
It seems difficult to help, support, educate others and not make them feel guilty.
It seems like a contradiction to encourage people to change their ways without incurring some guilt.
Perhaps we are so emotionally controlled that we forget to use common sense, education and choice.

When I see a needed change, I rely on forgiveness to clear past ignorance.
When I see my own judgments and criticisms, I clear my own mind and beliefs and return to trust.
When I recognize that the intention of humanity is to be free of guilt and fear, it free myself.
When I forgive and erase with love, I can see how learned patterns, limiting beliefs have run our lives.

We are have a deep intention to be safe and secure, to belong and connect, to achieve and succeed.
We are here to live well and to be the best we can be.
The picture we hold of success, or being good or simply fitting in is different for everyone.
When I project my picture onto you, I cannot know what is true for another.

What picture do you have for what is true for you?
Have you ever taken the time to ask, what is right and wrong for you?
Are you aware of what you want to be, do and have?
Is it clear how you can best achieve, create and experience success for you?

If we don’t know what is right and true for ourselves, how can we know what is true for another.
If we are not living what we want to be and do and have, how can we coach, advise, counsel or teach.
If we are not able to achieve, create and experience success, how can we trust what we judge in others.
I recognize, the best gift I can give myself is to live my truth the best I know it to be.

Let us stop judging ourselves and we will stop judging others.
Let us begin to forgive ourselves, and then forgive others.
Let us take time to listen within and without to learn about other ways.
Let us look for how we are joined rather than judge our differences.

If my way is not yours, I respect your choices.
If my calling is not yours, I trust you to follow yours.
If my love and respect, appreciation and trust, is not helpful, I encourage you to choose your own.
I am loving, trusting, allowing, respecting and seeing each one of us on a journey home to peace.

I am always loving you and me the very best I know.
I am always learning and growing from listening to you the best I can.
I am always trusting and freeing us each to choose our own path.
I am always believing in living in integrity as our primary path to inner peace.

Betty Lue