Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Break Bad Habits!

I take care of my Whole Self well every day in every way.
The more I love and respect myself, the more I love and respect others.
The more I love and respect others, the more others love and respect me.
The more I love and respect myself, the more others love and respect themselves.
I teach by example and others appreciate and learn from my example

Stop being rude to yourself.
Stop interrupting yourself and others.
Pay attention, when you are talking with someone.
Don’t answer you phone in the middle of a conversation.

When you are focused on something, don’t allow the phone to interrupt you.
When you are talking with someone, don’t allow others to distract or interfere.
When you are reading  or watching something important, ask others to respect your focus. 
When you want to have alone time, request others to give you space and quiet.

We may learn the habit of paying attention to the loudest voice.
We may even teach our family to yell to get our attention.
We might start screaming to get their attention.
It is important that we stop being rude and use respect instead.

In your use of time and attention, do you pay attention to the urgency?
In your use of your energy, do you give yourself to the person who cries the loudest?
In your choice of what fire to put out, do you go to the most difficult and dangerous one?
Are you teaching those around you to have a problem to get your attention?

What we pay attention to grows and increases.
Where we give our time and energy to indicates what we value most.
When we practice behavior modification, we reward the positive and ignore the negative.
Forgive your error if you have been rewarding the negative and ignoring the positive.

We may have learned and taught having a problem, is the way to get attention.
We may be convinced that being good, kind, helpful and caring has no reward.
We may have falsely shown our family the way to get rewards it to yell or demand.
Forgive yourself for every bad habit you have learned, practiced and now teach.

Forgive your bad habits and choose to change them now.
Forgive others for following in your lead and show them differently now.
Believe as you change your choices, others will be able and willing to change too.
Reward only considerate, respectful and responsible behavior in yourself and others.

Let others know you will now respond to what is expressed and requested with respect.
Demonstrate by always using words of common courtesy, Please and Thank You.
Reward those who are respectful and responsible with extra praise and love.
Be sure to express gratitude openly for everyone who is grateful for your time and energy.

Remember, when expressed gratitude and kindness are ignored, people get they don’t matter.
When neediness and drama are given top priority, people will display the behavior that gets your response.
Choose wisely to encourage healthy, happy, empowering and encouraging relationships with you.
Talk about, care about and enjoy all the good interactions in your life.

Stop focusing on pain and problems, dysfunction and disappointment.
Give time, loving attention, energy, reward to those who are living and giving with conscious consideration.
Stop demanding attention by having a problem and choose to take care of your life without urgency.
Give time to rest and renew, meditate and create, learn and share, give and care, be quiet and know.

Loving you and me in loving with respect and responsibility and cooperation.
Betty Lue

Assertive People Do: 
  1. Decide what they want.
   2. Decide if it is fair.
   3. Ask for it clearly.
   4. Are not afraid of taking risks.
   5. Are calm and relaxed.
   6. Express feelings openly.
   7. Give and take compliments easily.
   8. Accept and give fair evaluation.

 Assertive People Do not: 
  1. Beat about the bush.
   2. Go behind other people's backs.
   3. Bully.
   4. Call people names.
   5. Bottle up their feelings.

 Aids For Developing Assertiveness: 
  1. Models
   2. Love and encouragement
   3. Caring evaluation
   4. A sense of values
   5. A basic feeling of security
 Comparing Responses
There are two primitive, adaptive, instinctive responses when encountering a problem area:  
  1. a desire for flight or
  2. 2)  a desire to fight.
  3. We mostly experience these responses as fear or anger.  
  4. Both responses are basically "back-brain" or reactive in nature.  
  5. Assertiveness brings the "fore-brain" into play, bringing objectivity and "rationality".
The more I respect myself, the more I respect others.
 The more I respect myself, the more others respect me.
 The more I respect myself, the more others respect themselves.
         Therefore, I choose to respect myself more.

Do It Anyway by Kent M. Keith

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.  
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.  
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.  
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy it all overnight.  
Build anyway.  

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.  
Be happy anyway.  

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow.  
Do good anyway.  

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.  
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.  

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.  

It was never between you and them anyway.