Monday, November 11, 2013

Stop Arguing!

I forgive my need to be right.
I easily state my position once and then let go to listen.
I no longer need to make anyone feel wrong, stupid or inept.
I now respect others’ opinions and beliefs as I respect my own.

Stop Arguing!
Start Listening!

“Stop arguing and start listening!
If you don’t like what is being said, ignore it.
In one ear and out the other.

No need to fight about anything.
Whoever is conscious will not talk back.
Whoever is more responsible will simply say, 
Thank you for sharing.”

What is done is done.
What is past is past.
Let it go now.
Make respect and love last.”

I am saying this to you, because it works.
I am writing this again and again, because it is true.
I am sharing this, because your need to be right is ineffective.
I am telling all this, because arguing creates no good.

We have learned to argue to make a point, so the judge or authority can make the decision.
In everyday relationships, there is no judge or jury.
The only punishment will be a broken relationship and lack of respect.
The value of arguing to get your point across or be right, is to lose the other’s love and respect.

The reward in all relationships is to offer and experience, respect, responsibility and cooperation.
The fastest way to diminish this connection or agreement is to argue to be right or to win.
The value for arguing for the win is to let your ego vent its leftover resentment and disrespect.
The loss is to eliminate trust, mutual respect, cooperation, harmony and genuine appreciation.

For those who like to argue and fight, does the value outweigh the loss?
Does it feel good to make the other person feel bad?
Does it help to settle your relationship and bring peace to fight to be right?
Do you really want to win at the other’s expense and risk loving the relationship?

What can you do instead of fighting and arguing to win?
·     State your viewpoint or opinion one time clearly and let go.
·     Listen to the other and really hear what they are saying.
·     Acknowledge with, “Thank you for sharing.  I hear you and respect your point of view.”

Simply, let there be differences of opinion, belief, truth.
There is no harm, no loss, no problem when we refuse to fight to win.
There is always harm, loss and problem when we fight to be right.
Instead of compromising, negotiate a win/win solution, with both parties needs being met.

This works for partners in business or marriage.
This works for parents and children.
This works for all ages and our friends.
This works for governments and institutions.

The need to fight is the need to be right.
Both parties usually get hurt or lose something.
The way to forgive is to learn how to live with differences.
Find where you agree and you will see how difference disappear.

You know what I mean.
Now discipline yourself to live it
Loving you to do the right thing.
Do what works.
Betty Lue

Experiment with no arguing and allowing all differences.

See how it makes relationships more harmonious and happy.