Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Healthy Families

I treat everyone in my family with respect, appreciation and love.
I live a respectful and responsible life in harmony with those around me.
I trust my self and my choices to live in the highest  and best way I know.
I teach only love and forgive the rest.

We are in Portland, OR this week with our youngest grandchild, Guy who is almost 18mos.
September 25, 2013 Loving Reminders ( Family)
(See below assessment on highly effective families.)

Healthy families are happy, healthy, respectful, responsible and cooperative.
Healthy families raise happy respectful and responsible children.
Healthy families have parents who are happy, healthy respectful and responsible.
Healthy families create a democratic system that benefits everyone, young and old.

Children learn from their parents and those with whom they associate.
Children explore and copy others words and behaviors to see what works.
Children become what we the parents and grandparents model for them.
Children are what their caregivers and role models have taught them to be.

Responsible parents learn parenting skills and modify skills to fit each child.
Respectful parents teach respect by being respectful of themselves and others.
Responsible parents understand that they teach my their behavior not by words.
Response able parents take responsibility for what children are learning and make changes.

When adults see children who do not know better, it is our responsibilities to show them a better way.
When adults do not know a better way to speak and act, we need to seek better role models for ourselves.
When adults blame our children, their playmates or the educational system, we need to look at ourselves.
When we choose in our homes to be respectful, responsible and cooperative, we teach right action.

To be a healthy family, there must be quality time, without TV, computers, cell phones and chaos.
To be a healthy family, there needs to be cooperative and collaborative activities.
To be a healthy family, there needs to be discussion of morals and values and living by family rules.
To be a healthy family, there needs to be respectful sharing without emotional outbursts.

Quality time is quiet, focused and healing for everyone.
Family sharing needs to be in environments where everyone is free to express, one at a time.
Family environments need to be orderly, well cared for and appreciated.
Family meals need to be healthy and calm places where each person is appreciated and valued.

Simple ways to improve the quality of your family relationships:
  • Personal time with each child, one on one, sharing only positive experiences.
  • Opportunities to play and learn together with laughter, appreciation, kindness and encouragement.
  • Limit to outside stimuli and distraction for everyone in the family. (No TV, cell phone, internet, etc.) during quality time or family time.
  • Shared family vacations or simple free experiences to beach, nature, parks, picnics, zoo, museums, library.
  • Family game night or movie night together.
  • Playing music, planting a garden, preparing a meal, creating a talent show or play….all together as a family.
  • Setting goals as a family, planning and preparing for goal success.
  • Setting limits or family rules …..with everyone in the discussion.
  • Beautifying, cleaning and organizing the home, one room at a time with appreciation and delight.
  • Making family chores fun and focused and cooperative.
  • Clarifying what is ideal behavior for parents and ideal behavior for kids. Posted as a reminder.
  • Many more positive, effective ideas are available for your family….read or watch or just ask!!

Loving you,  
Betty Lue


This quiz, prepared for USA WEEKEND by the Covey Leadership Center, adapts his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People specifically to families.  Read each statement and circle the answer that indicates how well YOU perform in your family in the following areas.

Habit 1: Be pro-active
 1.  I take responsibility for my moods and actions at home rather than blaming other family members or making excuses.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

 2.  I consciously work to solve family problems rather than ignoring or avoiding them.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

 3.  I focus my efforts in the family on the things I can do something about rather than complaining about things beyond my control.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind
 4.  I help my family develop a clear sense of how we want to treat one another, what we value and what we want to become.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

 5.  I’ve identified the important skills and traits I would like my family members to use in their dealings with others.
  3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

 6.  I’m aware of the unseen potential in members of my family and help them see and realize it.
  3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

Habit 3: Put first things first
 7. I do not allow the important family activities of my life to get lost in the crises and busy activity of my days.
 3- always   2-sometimes  1-never

 8.  I lead in making special family activities, vacations, birthdays and so on a priority through long-range planning.
  3-always   2-sometimes   1-never

 9.  I keep promises and honor commitments made to my family.
  3-always   2-sometimes   1-never

Habit 4: Think win-win
10.  I’m truly happy when members of my family succeed.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

11.  When solving conflicts in the family, I strive to find solutions that benefit all.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

12.  I strive to foster cooperation rather than competition among family members.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood
13.   I am sensitive to the feelings of each member of my family.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

14.  I seek to understand the viewpoints of others.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

15.  When listening to the others in my family, I try to see things from their perspective, rather than just my own. 
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

Habit 6: Synergize
16.  Even when I hold strong opinions on issues, I encourage others in the family to express differing viewpoints.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

17.  I work to find creative solutions to family problems that benefit all.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

18.  I value and seek out other’s insights.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

Habit 7: Sharpen the saw
19.  I help my family take time to find meaning and enjoyment in life.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

20.  I care for my physical health and well-being and encourage my family to do the same.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

21.  I encourage my family to develop new skills and abilities through my own example.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never

22.  I build and strengthen family relationships by being considerate and by apologizing when I make mistakes.
 3-always  2-sometimes  1-never  
SCORE YOURSELF-Add the numbers next to your answers.  If you scored:
50-66-You practice the 7 Habits much of the time in your family.  Keep it up.
35-49-You practice many of the 7 Habits.  Concentrate on those habits where your score is lower.
22-35-Pick ONE and work to improve it for awhile before proceeding to another.  Remember: Lasting change takes patience and perseverance.  Save this quiz and take it again in a few months.
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