Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Life Works……..When You Do The Work!

I know what I want and I go for it.
Life works for me, because I do the work.
I am open and willing to see what will work for me.
I create a life that supports the highest and best in me.

Everybody works their life to try to win.
If they believe winning is losing, they lose.
If they believe winning is helping, they help.
If they believe winning is making others miserable, that’s what they do.
If they believe winning is being right, they always make themselves ‘right’.

Everyone is doing the best they know.
If they know how to complain and whine, they complain.
If they know how to manipulate and control, they manipulate.
If they know how to be logical and rational, they are logical.
If they know how to be dramatic and intense, they dramatize.

Children learn at an early age what works with their caregivers.
Crying and demanding may work.
Being cute and distracting may work.
Being loving and kind may work.
Being obedient or defiant may work.

Many adults keep doing what worked for them as children.
Crying and demanding might work as infants, but may not work as adults.
Being cute and distracting may work as kids, but not be effective when mature.
Being logical and rational works with some, but not with everyone.
Drama, obedience, kindness and defiance may continue to work, but not with everyone.

When infantile tactics no longer work, people may be confused, frustrated, angry and scared.
Everyone looks for what works.
When parents, teachers and caregivers respond to certain behaviors, kids continue them.
When kids grow up, they look for people who respond to those behaviors.
The behaviors that work become personality habits which seem to make life work.

When people or situations change, these habits of mind, emotion and behavior may no longer work.
You may feel betrayed, depressed, enraged, or lost.
It is time to step back…..to stop, look, listen and seek what works.
When the responses change, when life no longer works for you, it is time to choose again.
When what was effective no longer serves what is good for you, it is time to stop the old and seek the new.

The work in life is to create a life that works for you.
When life stops working, it is time to release the old ways.
When life stops working, it is time to grow up.
When life stops working, it is time to choose again.
When life stops working, it is time to make yourself new.

The foolish continue pressing harder for making it work.
The wise let go and seek a better way.
The immature expect others to change.
The mature change their own habits and behavior.

What will it be for you?
Loving you,  
Betty Lue

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
the courage to change the things I can 
and the wisdom to know the difference.
(and sometimes the  inspiration to see options when I thought there were none.)

Handling Criticism

Every upset is always a wakeup call.
All wakeup calls are invitation to get on purpose.
Our purpose is to live in integrity with our mission and principles.
When we are fully being  true to our authentic self ,no one can upset or hurt us. 

Every criticism is always about the critic.
We can listen and be grateful for them telling their truth, their belief, their projection.
When we take it personally, we are acknowledging that we have some guilt.
When we are offended, we are confessing that we are not wholly on purpose and at peace.

When my buttons are pushed ( when I have a reaction) to what has been said, it is mine to heal.
When I am hurt or offended, I need to stop and listen to how I can respond to myself with love.
When I am defensive, attacking, upset, I need to take stock of what is the truth for me.
Always I can be aware that the critic is talking about their own need and I can forgive them.

When we hear a criticism or what we judge to be an attack, we can best forgive it all.
When we feel attacked or criticized personally, we can simply apology for the upset.
When we listen within for how best to respond, we can hear what is really needed.
The critic is always describing themselves and expressing their own need to heal.

What we give to another is given to ourselves.
When we offer forgiveness and healing to a brother, we are offering healing to ourselves.
There is no harm in doing no harm.
There is continuing upset when we try to be right.

Where we have guilt, we will be vulnerable.
When we are not true to ourselves, we can be hurt.
When we have blamed another, we will fear being blamed.
When we are afraid of someone or something, we have not yet forgiven.

All upsetting experiences are lessons, reminders or wakeup calls.
All difficulties are challenges which we can learn from.
All seeming offenses are opportunities to realign our principles and purpose.
In our defenselessness, our safety lies.

When we have nothing to hide with no secrets and no fears of being judged, criticism is a call for help.
When we are free from judging, blaming and making anyone wrong, we respond always with kindness.
When we are willing to give what we want to receive, we respond with respectful listening and love.
When we are open to giving what will bring peace and harmony to all, we forgive and love again.

And so it is, we learn and expand our capacity for Loving Kindness,
Betty Lue