Thursday, June 13, 2013

How Do You Love?

I love myself well just as I am.
The more I love, accept and respect myself, the more I love, accept and respect others.
My self love is the key to fully and freely loving others.
I treat others with the kindness and respect we all deserve.

Your early experiences often determine how you “Love”.
Problems arise in relationships, when your “love” hurts.
When Love was not very “loving” in our childhood, you may not know how to “love”.
When your “love” hurts, the loved one may go away, withdraw, fear or hurt you back.

How did your parents show their love?
How did your siblings, grandparents and caregivers “love” you?
When did you feel others cared about you?
How did you get attention, positive or negative?

If parents were over-bearing and controlling, you may be doing the same.
If your loving parents ignored you and gave your total freedom, you may do the same.
If your caregivers were critical and demanding, you may find yourself doing the same.
If those who loved you hurt you physically and emotionally, you may love others the same.

How were you loved?
How do you love others?
What do you believe love is?
How do you believe love needs to be shown?

Until we learn how to love another in the way they feel safe and valued, others may not stay.
Until we allow another to Love us in positive, kind and encouraging ways, we may not let Love in.
Until we learn to love and be loved with respect and consistent kindness, we may not know Love.
Until we are willing to release unhealthy loving, we may not create healthy and lasting Love.

What is the highest way of loving?
How do I love as I imagine God loves?
How do I discern how others want to be loved?
How can I respond with Loving kindness to all people?

Have you clarified what is your ideal way of being loved?
Touch and Affection?
Acts of Service?
Gifts and Special Treats?
Positive Words?
Spending Quality?

How do you show your love for those you “love”?
How do you show your love for yourself?
How do you demonstrate your Love for those you admire and value greatly?
How do you show your Love for God?

We all have our ideal way to give and receive Love.
See for an assessment to help you discern your way.
Remember that others may have a whole different way of loving and being loved.
We can learn to recognize, understand and respect our unique ways of loving.
Loving you with what I know to be true!

Affirming words, quality time, acts of service and my gift of these Loving Reminders, all are
Loving you, 
Betty Lue
(The only love language missing is affection.  You can feel my hugs and smiles if you try!!

The 5 Love Languages 
What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller!
Words of Affirmation Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.