Monday, March 04, 2013

Why Argue or Fight?

There is no need to argue or fight.
They get us nowhere and nothing.
They are a waste of energy.
Arguing and fighting create lack of trust.

Why try to win your point?
Why pick senseless things to fight about?
Why behave like selfish children?
Why try to hurt or make someone mad?

Arguing is unnecessary.
Fighting is futile.
Neither offer anything real.
We can never really win.

There are always differences.
There is always something to pick apart.
Anyone can find something to criticize.
We can always make up a reason to fight.

But Why?
Does it ever lead to a happy ending?
Does it ever create more closeness?
Does it ever make people happy?

Fighting is useless and immature.
Arguing is pointless unless you need to win.
Excuses are infinite and can easily be explained.
Trying to make someone lose is pointless.

In the end, Fighting may be a way of getting one’s way.
Arguing may be to prove a point or to make someone lose.
It is time to seek a better way to discuss and open minds.
It is time to look for win-win solutions where no one loses.

You can make the difference to love or to lose.
If you enjoy arguing, continue with the agreement of the other.
If you want a friendly debate, seek hones and happy debaters.
If you like the process of “making up”, then help yourself.

See for yourself.
Next time you fight……
Did you win or lose anything?
Did you feel more happiness or satisfaction?
Did you feel better about your relationship?
Did you feel good in your heart, mind or your pride?
Is there a better way to teach and learn?
Is there a more fulfilling way to speak your mind?
Is there a kinder way to relate and share?
Is there a healthier way to connect, converse and communicate?

What works instead of arguing?
·     State your opinion and ideas once clearly.

·     Drop your position and listen with an open mind.

·     Learn what is true for you may not be true for others.

·     There is no harm in hearing and accepting the differences.

This saves a lot of pain, energy and broken relationships!

Seeking only peace and harmony, trust and respect.
Allow everyone to be free in what they believe.
If needed, negotiate a way in which both parties feel heard, respected and accepted.
When you have resistance, take three deep breaths and say, “I hear you and thank you.”

When the quality of the relationship is more important than getting your way, you will listen.
When respect in your communication is important to you, you will allow only winning for all.
When you are mature in making good decisions, you will seek the Good for everyone.
When you are willing to teach and learn fairness, equality and justice for all, it is easy to accept.

Let’s quit the need to fight to be right,
Betty Lue

The more I respect myself, the more I respect others.
 The more I respect myself, the more others respect me.
 The more I respect myself, the more others respect themselves.
         Therefore, I choose to respect myself more.