Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Respect and Responsibility in Relationships

To respect another will teach respect.
To be responsible for all you think and say and do teaches responsibility.
To be disrespectful teaches disrespect.
To be irresponsible models being irresponsible.

This applies to partners, children, friendships and co workers.
When you lead with kindness and genuine respect, others will learn.
When you stop criticism and forgive your judgments, others will learn to stop theirs.
When you cease using guilt to manipulate and control, others will begin to stop blaming.

We learn to blame, criticize, punish, resent and use guilt from our family system.
We learn to attack and hurt others by being hurt and seeing hurt.
We learn to argue and fight by believing our parents did what was right.
We learn to defend and justify and explain and get emotional from our observation and experience.

When we learn to give up childish and hurtful ways, we can see how immature this behavior was.
When we stop abusing and accusing, we see how harmful it is to healthy trusting and loving relationships.
When we stop all attack and step back, we recognize it is forgiveness and loving kindness that heals.
To respect ourselves and others, we must be responsible for our thoughts, words and behavior.

What does it mean to stop all attack?
What does it mean to let go of past hurts?
What does it mean to forgive all criticism?
What does it mean to teach only Love?

To be responsible is to be the One who makes the changes.
To be responsible is to lead the way.
To be responsible is to consistently respond with Love.
To be responsible is to stop all blame, expectation and demands.

To be respectful is to treat everyone as we would want to be treated.
To be respectful is to give all others and ourselves the best we know.
To be respectful is to forgive, erase and undo all mistakes, yours, mine and ours.
To be respectful is to see the call for loving kindness beneath the surface behavior and language.

You see, everyone has difficult days, hard times and sometimes terrible lives.
When we do not know how to love well, someone who knows must show and teach the way.
When people do now know how to be respectful and responsible, we learn by the one who shows us.
When we are learning, we need patience, understanding and loving reminders to remember what is best.

You can be the One.
Stop the ugly, hurtful and disrespectful words and behavior.
Give yourself and others a timeout to reflect on what might be a better way.
Treat others with thoughts, words and actions that you value and believe in.

You can make all the difference in the world….with the ones you are with.
Loving you, 
Betty Lue

Relationship Perceptions

·      Perception is a mirror, not a fact.
·      What we see in another is a projection of our history and our internal judgments.
·      Therefore, we see what we want to see in the moment, what fits with our current ideas, beliefs, and attitudes.
·      Relationships are an opportunity to become a spotless mirror.
·      Relationships show us where we are stuck in our opinions and self-judgment.
·      Healing our perceptions, clearing our relationships, loving everyone equally, and cleaning our mirror is the purpose of the world and physical experience.
·      Present moment experiences reflect past similars. We recreate past patterns until we come to peace and clear our misperceptions.
·      The major portion of all relationships with lovers, spouses, children, employers and friends is to clear the past.
·      Awareness with no judgment is healing. Simply notice.
·      We are responsible for our experience and receive what we have asked for exactly as we have asked.
·      Everything works together for good.
·      To consciously give ourselves and our relationships to Spirit is to allow the undoing to occur in an easy, natural way with trust in the outcome.
·      To the degree we respect ourselves, we are respected by others.
·      To the degree we abandon ourselves, we are abandoned by others.
·      To the degree we listen to and honor ourselves, we are listened to and honored by others.
·      Also, to the degree we love and trust ourselves, we can love and trust others.
·      So, it behooves all of us to clean up our own relationship with ourselves—to let go of everything that blocks us from respecting, being with, listening to and honoring, loving and trusting ourselves. Indeed, this is the cure-all for relationships.
·      The simple truth is that the outer reality is but a reflection of our inner kingdom.