Monday, March 25, 2013

Abandonment Is An Inside Job

A reader asked, “Please address how those of us with abandonment issues could avoid having them our future decision making with respect to relationships.”

All abandonment issues are about abandoning ourselves.
All rejection is about rejecting ourselves.
When we are loving ourselves consistently, there is no abandonment.
When we are connected with the Love within, we do not feel left.

Our personality gets attached to having someone else fill our needs for love and closeness.
Our human self may seek approval, companionship and agreement.
Our training as a child may have been the withdrawal of love when we were disobedient.
Threats to be left alone may have been how parents and partners have controlled us.

The withdrawal of love or the loss of a loved one without understanding may feel like abandonment.
When someone or something to which we are attached is taken away, we may feel left and bereft.
When authorities remove someone’s source of comfort and safety, it may feel life threatening.
It is essential that we find an inner Source and resource on which we can rely for comfort and safety.

Take the time to find a place within that you know will not betray you.
Still the voices of criticism, demands and hatred and listen deeper for the voice of Love.
Calm the storms of self judgment, fear and profound grief for the loss of love and see the place of Peace.
Clear the mind by forgiving everything that is not wholly loving and reassuring for you.

The thoughts we think determine the feelings we have.
When we think, “I have been abandoned”, it becomes our belief.
What we believe, we make true by reinforcing it with other thoughts.
When we judge what we believe and see, we feel left, bereft and unloved.

What is the truth?
The other may not be capable of staying.
The other may be denying themselves.
The other may be afraid of commitment.
The other may not like how we smell.
The other may be immature in their relationships.
The other may be afraid to love.
The other may want many to be with.
The other may be playing a part that is similar to our past.
The other may not know why they are leaving.
The other may prefer freedom or drugs.
The other may need to follow their inner direction.
The other may want to make new choices and travel new paths.
The other may have a history or pattern of leaving when too close.
The other may not be right for us.
The other may not care how we feel.

Usually we do not really ever know, so why make up what will hurt like hell?
Betty Lue is always loving you, me and all as One.

 Remember: Every upset is a past similar……Usually from early childhood. (or past life?)
Every upset is a replay of what we did not  understand or we allowed to hurt or scare us.
It is replayed on our life screen and in our relationships until we heal the fear or hurt.

Use forgiveness and affirmations:
I forgive your Mom and Dad for abandoning me, physically or emotionally.
I forgive myself for withholding my love from you and from myself.
I love you Mom and Dad and I know you love me too.

I forgive myself for letting anyone or anything hurt me.
I forgive myself for withholding my love from myself..
I now allow myself to love where there is a call of love.