Thursday, February 28, 2013


Neediness makes you vulnerable.
Greediness makes you needy.
When we are needy, we want to get.
When we are greedy, we want to get more.

When we seek to GET what we believe we want and need, we become dependent and vulnerable.
When we are dependent on anyone or anything, we feel vulnerable to disappointment and abandonment.
When we are thinking only of our own needs, we cannot see and feel what is real for others.
When we create dependency, we may feel depressed or resentful or hurt when our “needs” are not met.

It seems as though much of our society bases their life on creating dependency.
When people depend on us, perhaps we believe they will not leave us.
When we depend on others, perhaps we believe we must stay with them to live.
When we have mutually dependent relationships, we may find ourselves afraid or fighting.

How dependent are you on what you now have?
How independent have you become as you matured?
Where you are still dependent on others for the basics, you have stayed immature.
When you keep others dependent on you for the basics, you have denied their healthy growth.

Growing up is becoming able and happily willing to provide for yourself.
Maturity is no longer depending on others to give you what you need and want.
Adulthood is being able and willing to take care of yourself in healthy ways.
When we have not been encouraged to be responsible for our happiness and health, we may be disabled.

Co-Dependence is defined in different ways, depending on the circumstance.
We may believe ourselves to be little, inadequate, incapable and lacking.
We may believe others to be the same and try to take care of them to feel capable ourselves.
We may create relationships where we have to be needed to feel loved.

What will it take to free ourselves from neediness?
What will it take to stop wanting always more?
What will be enough?
When will be free to share what we have?

Can you mend a tear or sew on a button?
Can you prepare a meal for yourself and do your own laundry?
Can you handle your money well without needing a bailout?
Can you Share what you have without creating dependency on you?

Growing from childhood dependency and learning to be independent adult is healthy and normal.
Relying on one’s own initiative, competence and resourcefulness seems rare where dependence is fostered.
Learning to live with less and teach others how to enjoy what they have is key to invulnerability.
When we value what is valuable and are grateful for what we have, we find inner peace and happiness.

Demanding and threatening may work for children,
Whining and complaining may work when we are with Mommy and Daddy.
Using guilt and blame to get our needs met is childish.
It is time to grow up and learn to take care of ourselves with gratitude and joy.

Loving us all as we learn what brings true happiness and inner peace,
Betty Lue

You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life

If you would grow to be your best self
Be patient, not demanding
Accepting, not condemning
Nurturing, not withholding
Self-marveling, not belittling
Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing

For you are more sensitive than you know
Mankind is tough as war
Yet delicate as flowers
We can endure agonies
But we open fully only to warmth & light
And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance
Dispersed by storms of will
To return only when those storms are still

So accept, respect,
Attend your sensitivity

A flower
Cannot be opened
With a hammer