Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Afraid to Love?

What are you afraid of?
Do you fear losing yourself?
Are you afraid of getting hurt?
Do you fear letting love take over?

People seem afraid to let go of fear and simply Love.
Why do so many seem to avoid intimacy, honesty, responsibility and commitment? 
Have you noticed how people seek to love and be loved?
Have you wondered why Love seems so fragile?

When we try to get the love we want, we may mistakenly expect perfection.
We may assume that everyone wants the same forms of love.
We may be giving what we want to get, but neglecting to ask and observe what the other needs.
We may believe that what people say is what they will do and how they will behave consistently.

Personalities learn ways to love and ways to get love.
People are programmed from what they see and hear.
People learn patterns to avoid pain and attract pleasure.
People seek approval and avoid criticism.

People also learn to expect and accept what they have experienced before.
If we experience conditional love, we tend to give and get conditional love.
If we experience lots of criticism and disapproval, we may give and/or get criticism and disapproval.
If we live in a house with yelling, arguing and verbal abuse, we often attract, create and expect the same.

There are many experiences that keep repeating themselves in our lives, until we learn to forgive.
When we forgive the past, we can create the form of loving that we really want.
When we let go of the past, we step into the present with a willingness to heal what is not love.
When we recognize we are unconsciously repeating and recreating our past, we can choose differently.

People hear stories about love that sound sad and scary.
People live experiences that feel abusive and harsh.
People know that relationships are often temporary.
People are aware that sometimes we love and then need to let go.

When we know unconditional love and positive regard, we begin to believe it is possible.
When we experience love can last through tragedy and trauma, we begin to believe in endless love.
When we see forgiveness is the key to happiness and the past is really gone, we choose for Love.
When we understand our true nature is to Love, withholding love becomes a painful distraction.

Clarify in written words, the qualities you want to experience in love.
Write down the values you want to live  and give, when you are choosing to love you.
Write down the ideal qualities you want to receive in your loving relationships.
Then clarify honestly what degree of time, you will live your ideal with your thoughts, words and deeds.

We learn to be accepting, allowing, patient and understanding, when we remember we are all learning .
When we can forgive our mistakes, forgetfulness and acting out, we can forgive others.
Life is a lesson in loving.
Begin with Letting Go of Fear and genuinely loving and forgiving yourself.

Loving you in learning to love you.
Loving you as you let go of fear and love others.
Loving you as we learn to love one another no matter what.
Betty Lue

This is something written long ago to remind us to be patient in our learning to LOVE!
Change takes time and practice + clarity and communication!

What took years to make, cannot be changed overnight.
It only takes one of you to apologize to undo what seems like it upset many.
When you fall down at first, don’t sit there and cry no one helped you.
  • Get up and try again.  
  • Learn from your errors.
  • Express what you really want.
  • Soothe yourself with kind words.
  • Acknowledge that each of you are doing the best you know.
You are beginners...
This is a new way of learning.

RESPECT= Look deeper at what is needed and wanted. 
Forgive your own mistakes and choose again for a better way.

RESPONSIBILITY= Be willing to respond with love.  
If you don’t have love to give...it means you have not taken good care of yourself and you need to fill up with Love for your Self first.   Apologize for you inability or unwilling to respond immediately in a kind and respectful way.

COOPERATION= When you can work together as a team, all seeking a win for all, you will change your ways.  
The one who is most conscious and able will step up and do or say what is needed to bring the family together again.  Helping and humor work well. Apologies and hugs will break the ice. 
  1. Communicate the changes before you make them.  
  2. Ask for others support.  
  3. Remind people of your loving intention.
  4. Tell the truth about your own needs or fears or resistance.  
  5. Forgive yourself and others for their impatience and resistance.  

You all want the same thing

You all are still beginners and still experimenting with how to get what you all want!

I believe in you all and I trust you to keep on loving and learning and letting go of ineffective habits.
Betty Lue