Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Basic Requirements for All Relationships!

What are the requirements for being a great parent?
What are the recommendations for being a great partner?
What is needed to be a good friend?
What is needed to be the best at work and home?

Willingness…..Be open and willing to give your best in every relationship.

Caring…..Care about others and care about what you are doing. Take care of yourself.

Helping….Help in every way you can without demanding or expecting. Be a helpful person.

Forgiving…Forgive your mistakes and others quickly, and choose again for what you want.

Giving….Give your very best with joy and gratitude. Be a cheerful giver and helper.

Kindness….Always in every thought, word and deed be kind and considerate of others.

Gratitude…..Be openly appreciative of all your relationships and the opportunities to heal and serve.

Respect….Respect the thoughts, feelings and ideas of others by not needing to change them.

Reliability….Keep your agreements, be on time and honor your commitments without excuses.

Attention ….Pay attention to what others want and need while observing the whole situation.

Clarity…. Be clear in your communication about what you want, need, expect and listen to others.

Learning…Always be willing to improve by taking full responsibility for any changes you need.

Every one of these requirements are of value, plus many more.  
Choose one to work on daily.
Appreciate the simple changes you make. 
Be thoughtful in how you speak to those you encounter.

When you have difficulties or disagreements, assume it is yours to forgive, clear and heal.
Take time to ask yourself, “What can I do?”
Reflect on how the situation is a past similar calling for healing.
Step away and write:” the real reason I am ….(upset) is:…….. “and list every thought.

When we can find our own wounds, false beliefs, projections onto others, we can heal.
Revealing where we can do better, releases guilt and fear, hurt and anger.
Taking responsibility for growing up and being the mature one is the real need we have.
When we notice that any or all of our relationships are difficult, it is obvious who needs to change.

Take time to grow up.
Stop blocking the pain with excuses, addictions or shutting down.
Open up and face the problems with willingness and a sincere inventory of what needs to be healed.
We are the one in every relationship who can make the difference for everyone’s benefit.

Blessing us all in our willingness to DO THE WORK!
Betty Lue

Keys to Successful Relationships 
 Joining-Create a common vision or shared goal.

Honesty- Communicate your true intention without secrets or withholds.

Equality-Each is giving the best they know in each moment.

Commitment- Agree to what is highest and best for both parties.

Responsibility- Be able and willing to respond consciously to all relationship needs without guilt or blame. Be respectful and forgiving of mistakes made.

Successful Relationships

To have successful relationships with partners, spouse, coworkers, teammates, children there are five essential factors: Joining, Honesty, Equality, Commitment, Responsibility.

Joining: All parties must share a common goal or vision for their relationship. This shared vision comes from communication regarding the needs of each individual, their vision for the future and what they share in common.

Honesty: Honest communication is sharing what really matters with no blame, guilt or withholds.
Honest is a byproduct of integrity, living one’s life on purpose with openness and appreciation.

Equality: When both parties are giving their best in each moment, there is equality.  Equality is not measured by comparison: it is experienced when there is the willingness to give one’s best even when it is less than the other.  To quit or hold back on one’s giving creates inequality.

Commitment: To commit to the fulfillment of the desired vision or goal and to the success of the relationship requires always choosing what is best for both.  Decisions are based on what is a win/win for all concerned.  One must be committed to what is highest and best for each party.

Responsibility: Being fully able and willing to respond to whatever is needed to create success through joining, honesty, equality and commitment is being fully responsible.  Where there is guilt or blame being communicated, there is inequality and victimization as well as lack of responsibility.

To be successful requires staying conscious.
To be successful requires a willingness to communicate with respect.
To be successful requires an acceptance of differences.
To be successful requires open-minded and appreciation of all parties.

To take on unconscious patterns of dysfunctional family systems will limit the success of one’s joining, honest communication, true willingness to give., total commitment to what is best for all and assuming full responsibility for the quality of the relationship.

If you want success and fulfillment in your relationships, begin today to observe what you can do to improve them in every way.  You need not depend upon the other changing in order to increase the quality of your relating.

Blessings for choosing a better way,
Betty Lue