Do you know how different we all are from one another?
All conflict could be avoided if we knew and accepted our differences.
In families, conflicts occur because parents come from different lifestyles, beliefs and habits.
In couples, individuals have differing unconscious patterns in how to relate with one.
There is a tendency in people to assume that others are similar.
When others behave differently it is often interpreted as unloving or thoughtless behavior.
When others simply do what they have always done and are judged, they feel attacked.
When others are corrected for speaking and acting in integrity with their values, they feel judged.
Some differences to consider:
Some families argue vehemently and some don’t argue at all.
Some families have meticulous order, schedule and structure and some live with chaos, no schedule and lack of routine or consistency.
Some families have total privacy in each person’s affairs and some have no privacy where everything is shared.
Some families are rewarded with praise and hugs and some are only verbally chastised and punished.
Some people work slowly and cautiously. Some work quick and sloppy.
Some people sleep and relax a lot. Some people work all the time and take little time to rest.
Some people talk non-stop and fill in all the empty spaces with noise. Some prefer no talking or noise.
Some people like to get up early, get ready for their day and others like to lounge and linger at home.
Some people have learned to make and keep their agreements.
Others have rarely experienced accountability or responsibility.
Some prefer lots of freedom and no direction from others.
Other people prefer to be guided, directed and encouraged every step of the way.
Some prefer to be busy all the time and others like lots of open time with nothing to do.
Some prefer eye contact when communicating. Others avoid eye contact.
Some love to be hugged and touched. Others fear or avoid physical contact.
Some enjoy having companionship and others prefer solitude.
Some have lots of ideas, but little follow-thru.
Others need ideas from others and then accomplish them.
Some prefer books and learning. Others prefer projects and doing things.
Some prefer challenges and novelty. Others like comfort and familiarity.
Differences are valuable to balance relationships, teams and families.
When we accept people’s differences, we all benefit.
When we judge and try to change others, we all lose.
For peace and harmony, natural order and easy living, it is wise to learn and respect all differences.
Loving us all as One when we are respectful and accepting,
Betty Lue
You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life
If you would grow to be your best self
Be patient, not demanding
Accepting, not condemning
Nurturing, not withholding
Self-marveling, not belittling
Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing
For you are more sensitive than you know
Mankind is tough as war
Yet delicate as flowers
We can endure agonies
But we open fully only to warmth & light
And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance
Dispersed by storms of will
To return only when those storms are still
So accept, respect,
Attend your sensitivity
A flower
Cannot be opened
With a hammer
Anonymous