Thursday, August 27, 2009

Expectations Lead to Disappointment

(See the classes that begin in September!! Hope you can come. No sincere participant is turned away for lack of funds. I really am here to serve, teach, counsel and coach because I believe in you and it is my calling, my source of inspiration BLL)

You can expect a duck to fly like an eagle, but a duck is a duck.
You may expect your wife to cook great meals, because she is your wife. But if she doesn’t enjoy cooking, it won’t happen.
You may expect to be treated during your marriage like when you were courted or first married, but things change and never stay the same.
You may expect people to treat you like you treat them, but if they cannot treat themselves well, it is unlikely.

You may expect your kids to get good grades because you did, but if they are not motivated to do well, you will be disappointed.
You may expect your income and job position to keep improving, but you cannot control the economy.
You may expect life to treat you well because you are a good person, but you do not control your destiny.
You may expect others to see the best in you, but others can only see in you what they see in themselves.

While we cannot control what the world does or gives, we can choose how we respond.
While we cannot make others be what we want for them, we can choose how we treat them.
While we cannot take away all the “bad” stuff, we can stop contributing to what we see as “bad”.
While we cannot create a “perfect” life for ourselves and others, we can create and appreciate what is “good life“ for us.

Fear contracts life energy and limits our viewpoint.
Anger (irritation, frustration and impatience) distort what we perceive and create stuckness.
Guilt (regret, disappointment, and depression) diminish motivation and inhibit performance.
Pain and hurt block diminish the outward flow of energy to defend and protect ourselves.

When we place expectations on others, we use pressure to have them conform and yield.
When we place expectations on ourselves, we feel stressed to perform and meet self demands.
When we place expectations on our world, we find ourselves judging and critical.
Expectations are a set up for judgment, stress and perceived failure.

Seeking another’s approval teaches individuals not to listen to what is best for them.
Seeking another’s love is an out-picturing of neediness and dependency
Seeking external validation creates fear of failure and lack of self discipline and determination.
Seeking to please others (being a pleaser) is a behavior that engenders difficulty thinking for oneself.

What can you do to drop expectations and live your potential your way?
Honor your inner vision of the life you want.
Step into that vision by living (thinking speaking and acting) that way.
Appreciate every positive shift in perception and behavior.
Become a love finder rather than a fault finder.
Keep your promises to yourself. (Stop setting goals and using standards that threaten failing.)
Trust you are always giving your best.
Make no assumptions about others motivations or beliefs.
Be open and willing to learn to support others where they are when they need your support.
Do not give advice until you are asked. (Make sure you are modeling the advice you give.)
Focus on the win’s and forgive immediately what doesn’t work for you in yourself and others.
I give you my respect and appreciation for doing the best you know.
If you are willing to find a better way, it will find you.
Listen, observe and ask for help and clarification.

Loving you,
Betty Lue