Friday, July 24, 2009

Judgment Creates Stuckness

What you judge, you get stuck with.
Where you criticize, you cause resentment.
When there is resentment, there is guilt.
When there is guilt, there is the tendency to do it again.

Guilt is an ineffective deterrent.
Fear is a block to love and kindness.
Resentment builds resistance.
Hurt feelings cause separation.

While most have been taught to judge, admonish, criticize, demand, blame and threaten to get our way,
this is an ineffective way to change behavior.
These forms of communication cause reactions of defensiveness in the form of withholding, secrecy,
explanation, justification, distraction, stubbornness, counter-attack, blame, aggression and withdrawal.
When our communication causes a negative reaction, it is not productive or helpful.

Those who feel guilt rarely say “I’m sorry” and choose to change their behavior.
Those who feel guilt most often withdraw or blame the one with whom they feel guilt.
Guilt is an ineffective teacher or motivator.
Guilt will not produce the desire results of positive change.

The ego, the learned personality uses guilt to get its ways.
The ego uses guilt as a way of proving itself “Right”.
The ego causes guilt in others as a form of punishment.
The ego sees guilt in another as an admission of wrong-doing.

When we allow someone to hurt us or do harm, we set them up to feel guilty.
When we believe we can be harmed, we teach others to be careful with our feelings.
When we ask others to be careful with our feelings, we believe we are vulnerable.
When we believe we are weak, we allow ourselves to be victimized and hurt.

The work of the ones who seek to be spiritually helpful is simple.
  • Love ourselves and others in all circumstances.
  • Bring forth love no matter what.
  • Forgive ourselves for letting anyone hurt us.
  • Recognize there are no sinners, but rather those who are mistaken, feel lacking and unloveable.

When we rise above the belief in our own victimization, we take responsibility for healing.
When we seek to heal our belief in lack, littleness and limitation, we forgive and release all mistakes.
When we undo what is not true, we come to realize we are unlimited in power, in peace and in love.
When we extend our loving power to ourselves and others, we are free and can trust Love prevails.

Blessings of trust and freedom that comes from forgiving all that is not,
Betty Lue