Saturday, February 21, 2009

Dump No Toxins

Why no reminders on Friday?
Grandchildren on Thursdays and Fridays from 6:30AM until 6 PM.
On Thursdays and Fridays, we leave at 6:30 AM to be with the Grand three in Alameda and the Grand Two in Petaluma, so you may not receive loving reminders on these days unless we get up at 5AM. So here we are getting ready for Saturday workshop and leaving at 8Am and up at 6AM. This is plenty of time for getting ready, preparing our lunch and writing loving reminders. (and yesterday AM did 2 loads of laundry). You can enjoy it all when you are happy and willing!

Why pollute a relationship with poison and negativity?
Why complain and demand things be different?
Why judge and criticize when you know it hurts?
Why make someone feel guilty or mad?

There is a precedent that dumping our feelings onto loved ones is OK.
There is an implication that we must share all our feelings with our closest family members.
There is a historical pattern that families have permission to make others feel bad to get heard.
There is a therapeutic model that claims the catharsis of emotional dumping is healthy.

It is clear that where you dump negativity, fear and guilt and anger will grow.
It is obvious that when you sow only love, happiness, harmony, trust and respect will grow.
It makes sense that what you give to others, you will receive for yourself.
To deliver any negative message can only yield hostility, arguing and separation.

We are learning to put our garbage only where is will not contaminate the earth’s inhabitants.
We have experienced the pain of someone threatening, criticizing, condemning or scaring us.
We all know that love does not grow where there is no kindness, appreciation and genuine caring.
We all have learned to practice the Golden Rule: Do to others what you would want done to you.

Today, make a vow to stop all negative words and deeds toward anyone, including yourself.
Stop being demanding and threatening.
Stop whining and complaining about other’s behavior.
Stop scaring people with yelling and violent actions.
Stop criticizing and telling people what to do unless invited.
Stop making others feel guilty or responsible for your feelings.
Stop manipulating and controlling with tears or troubles.
Stop dumping your pain and problems onto others.

This is not love.
This is not healthy.
This is not helpful.
This is not effective in building positive, loving and harmonious relationships.

So what to do with the garbage in your mind, in your life?
Garbage is meant to be dumped in private places, contained and set far away from your home.
Poisons must be flushed quickly away from the possibility of doing harm to anyone or anything.
Toxic thoughts and feelings can be written in a journal, in a letter (never send it to anyone.)
We have private bathrooms with doors to let go in private.
We have those trained in releasing bad stuff without them getting sick.
We have cathartic processes to release people’s yucky stuff.
We have healthy ways to let go of negativity without sharing with those we want to nurture and love.

Learn to make no demands.
Learn to keep your own counsel.
Learn to handle your fear with faith.
Learn to manage your guilt and resentment with forgiveness.

Be responsible for dumping in responsible and respectful ways and you will be free of negative fallout.
Letting go can be fun, safe and easy when done with Love.
Betty Lue