Sunday, November 16, 2008

Positive Relating

Yesterday I offered a seminar on Positive Relating and Positive Parenting.
(simplified summary)
Positive means no negativity.
Relating means that you connect, care and consider the others situation.
(Whether 2 or 92, everyone deserves equal respect.)

Treat others as you would a guest in your home or a respected friend.
Treat others with the respect and consideration you want from others.
Remember always you are the mature adult and the understanding teacher.
Know that how you treat yourself and others teaches others how to treat you.
How you take care of your body and your home teaches others how to take care of theirs.
Communicate consciously clearly, concisely and completely.
Establish boundaries and limits that you can live with and enforce consistently.
Give attention, affection and appreciation daily to your loved ones.
Be positive, precise and persistent in your praise.
Connect with caring, trust, listening, supporting, befriending , encouraging.
Negotiate all disagreements to win/win solutions, compromise or what will work.

Stop Criticizing, complaining, threatening, nagging, controlling, manipulating and punishing.
Stop using fear or force to control others.
Stop yelling, shaming, blaming, swearing, and behaving like a child.

Start treating everyone with respect and appreciation, including yourself.
Start building a trust account based on your caring and listening to others.
Start talking always with a low, even and strong voice directly to the other.

State only what you really want.
Ask the other what will work for them: timing, help needed or further direction?
Be truly grateful for their affirmative response.
Be willing to help them and respond quickly to their requests as well.

Remember you are always the teacher.
Your behavior with others is being observed as the role model.
Giving special attention (positive or negative) to anyone teaches what is needed to do to get attention.
Everyone wants to feel loved, safe and appreciated for they are.
With appropriate teaching, everyone can learn to be respectful, responsible and cooperative.

Together Now We are turning around a world that has falsely learned to dismiss others’ opinions,
disrespect those who are different and start wars instead of negotiate for win/win solutions.
We are undoing behaviors from the top down that do not work.
We are finding a path of moderation, understanding, compassion and kindness.
We are beginning to build a world ( and family systems) that is respectful, responsible and response-able,
cooperative and seeks what is truly democratic and works for one and all.

This is our work, our holy assignment and can be done by letting go of what does not work and listening within.
Loving us all as One,
Betty Lue