Thursday, March 27, 2008

To See What Is, Forgive!

When we are judging anyone or anything, our perception is distorted by our judgments.
When I am judging favorably, I see what I favor.
When I am judging critically, I see what I criticize.
We see what we believe, what we are looking to validate.

Our mind wants to be right in the thoughts it holds.
Our emotions feel what the mind believes.
Our body follows suit to seek out proof of what we believe and feel to be true.
Our sensory perception is then attracting validation.

Behavior Modification practice proves:
What we reward with positive or negative attention, we reinforce.
What we ignore, we extinguish.
What we intermittently punish and reward, we reinforce often to the point of addiction.

Awareness with no judgment is healing.
When we perceive with a neutral mind, what is, we neither reinforce with positive or negative attention.
When we are at peace with what is, the behavior receives no pain nor pleasure.
When we are simply extending unconditional love no matter what, all things work together for good.

Behaviors become habits, addictions or learned patterns because they receive attention.
Laziness, clumsiness, complaining, crying, fighting, explaining, cursing, lateness, over-doing anything, all become learned patterns when they are reinforced by others with special attention…either positive or negative attention. Punishment, criticism, yelling, a special look or talk, laughter and amusement, comments to other people. All are forms of unconscious reinforcement for behaviors.

When we are neutral, ignore the behaviors we choose to eliminate in ourselves and others, we are forgiving, overlooking, undoing, allowing, accepting, letting go and trusting that new behaviors can and will emerge.
As we give new valued behaviors attention, we will reinforce their continuance. Where we give our attention, we are feeding, valuing and reinforcing the behavior. We help to make it real and lasting.

To see clearly what really is, we must forgive and release our opinions, criticisms, fears and judgments of ourselves and others. Where we judge ourselves, we are judging others. Where we are loving, trusting and respecting ourselves, we are able to love, trust and respect others. Our children and spouses learn from us what will be reinforces with positive or negative attention. When we forgive and undo our emotional reactivity, we can be fair and consistently loving and attentive. When we persist in criticizing and rewarding what we think we want we actually continue to get what we criticize and reward.

It is far more productive to simply love, respect and trust one another.
It is easier and more enjoyable to spend quality time and attention on what really matters.
We can encourage respectful and trusting relationships by being someone who is respectful and trust worthy.
It is in the best interest of all our relationships to forgive ourselves for criticizing and punishing.
It is important to take responsibility for our errors and correct our mistakes.
It is valuable to forgive ourselves for withholding our love.
It is essential to remember Love is Trust and Freedom.

Practice undoing the habit of negative attention for 30 days and see what happens in all your relationships.
Give up complaining, criticizing, threatening, bribing and withholding Love.
Forgive yourself for forgetting to love, trust and respect yourself and others.

Basic Affirmations:
The more I love, trust and respect myself, the more I love, trust and respect others.
The more I love, trust and respect myself, the more others love, trust and respect me.
The more I love, trust and respect myself, the more others love, trust and respect themselves.
The more I love, trust and respect myself, the more others love, trust and respect others.

Loving you,
Betty Lue