Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Effective Loving

Love is freedom and trust.

“Love” is seen by the ego’s personality as limitation and suspicion, under the guise of protection and caution.
When we are afraid, we are jealous, careful and doubting.
Some believe in closed, fear-based and emotional relationships because of learning from their dysfunctional family systems and on the media.
Drama feels like caring.
Passion is passed off as intense loving.
Yet under this type of love is always the “fear” of losing, the fear of not getting the Love we want.
Fear-based or egoic love is always about “getting” something we think is missing, getting from our loved ones what we want.
When we seek to complete ourselves with another’s love, support or help, we are content as long as they are capable and comply,
but when they are unavailable or unwilling, we become angry and punitive with withdrawal or criticism.
Our loved ones learn from us what we call ”love”.
This form of neediness is not love but a selfish way of getting another to complete ourselves.
It may work for short periods of time, but then is undone with fatigue, hostility, disappointment and failed expectations.

Real Love is a giving Love.
Real Love seeks to understand.
Real Love seeks to listen and respond.
Real Love comes from a place of inner fullness and Self Fulfillment.
Real Love endures all things and does not quit or fail.
Real Love is effective in healing past history and woundedness.
Real Love forgives all mistakes and begins anew.
Real Love is a choice, not a product of attraction or chemistry.
Real Love is a respectful healing and inspiring way of living.
Real Love is trusting in the other’s learning process.
Real Love is patient and kind through life’s challenges.
Real Love is freeing so that both people grow to their highest and best selves.
Real Love is a call to remember we are responsible for the quality of our thoughts and our feelings.
Real Love is supporting and uplifting, encouraging and affirming, appreciative and open-minded.

Love is our natural state.
Love is the willingness to see beneath the worldly personality stuff,.
Love forgives, erases and releases learned limiting beliefs, false expectations, past projections.
Love is open and willing to return to respect, appreciation and loving kindness, no matter what.

If only we would love like this, our relationships, families and world would be free of conflict and war.
If only we chose to treat one another like this, we would be powerful healing presence to all we meet.
If only we were willing to love ourselves like this, we would be happy and at peace within.
Love is the return to our natural state with the willingness to undo what is not true and loving.

Blessed be,, setting us free,
Betty Lue