Friday, October 05, 2007

Grief, Guilt or Gratitude?

When we lose a loved one, how do we let go?
When we lose a job, how do we let go?
When we lose a dream, how do we let go?
Grief, guilt or gratitude, it is always a choice.

Death of a loved one is a deeply personal experience.
There is no one who can fully understand what it means to the individual.
Therefore, we cannot predict, help or tell the other what or how to grieve.
We can listen, support, and trust the other's process in letting go.

Loss feels empty, dark, void and sad to many.
To others it feels like release, freedom lightness and blessing.
Losing a job or a special focused project or person may leave an absence of something meaningful.
When we fill it with love, gratitude and expectation of the next new fulfillment, we are hopeful.

To some the "grieving" process is totally private.
To inquire, to give comfort, to try to help, may seem like an intrusion.
To others, the grieving must be done openly with authentic emotional expression.
For these folks, the more we listen, honor and validate their feelings, the better it feels.

For some the pain of loss is due to the guilt of unexpressed love and generosity.
The guilt of not giving the very best weighs heavily on their heart and mind.
The wish for having given more or told the truth or been more forgiving, haunts their thinking.
For these folks, learning how to forgive themselves comes in their own timing with choice.

To some death, completion, letting go is experienced with total trust in right outcome.
There is peace, a feeling of "All is in divine order." And freedom to choose again.
When there is total acceptance (with no anger, remorse, fear or depression), we remember only the Good.
The past is gone and all that is left is the blessing.

So let us not forsake our own unique responses to what we experience collectively.
We are all learning from life what we need to learn from and care for.
Life offers us each grand opportunities to give all or withhold, to love all or make special loves,
to let go easily or hang on tight, to learn from everything or to hang on to our way of thinking.

We each are grieving, holding guilt or grateful for all that life offers us.
We each are learning, forgiving or laughing at what we experience.
We are in the perfect place for our own spiritual growth and healing.
When we tend to our own process, we model for our loved ones how to respect their uniqueness.

It may be time to say, “I don't know what is best for you, but I can listen if you would like.”

Loving you, Loving me and Loving All as One,
Betty Lue

Even waking up from a nap can feel like a loss...
Time to cry, time to laugh, time to be just depends....

We just plunked down and sat for a while, until there was a smile and thumbs up!

A little song never hurts, especially if we are feeling quiet and a little sensitive.