Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Connecting with Another

How Are You?
How Are You Doing?
So What's Up in Your Life?
Tell me what you've been doing lately?

The standard questions often lead us to being stymied or stuck in our response.
Sometimes people want to connect.
Sometimes they want an excuse to talk to us.
Sometimes people are being polite.
Sometimes we don't know what to say, so we say what is usual and customary.

The problem for me when I am really in the present moment, (which is most of the time),
I don't remember what I was doing lately.
I am so in the now, I have no answer.
" So I give my usual "GREAT and How are you?"

But the real question is…”What is the REAL question?”

"I want to connect with you and don't quite know what to ask or where to begin."
"I feel like talking with someone and wonder if you would like to listen."
"I just want to say Hi and let you know I feel connected."
"It is so good to see you."

“I love the ( party, the weather, etc.), being here.
Are you enjoying yourself?”
Or if I really have a specific question, I ask it directly.
“How did you feel about the World Series Games?”
“What is your favorite birthday cake?”
“What is your feeling about………?”

Bottom line:
Everything is an excuse to be in relationship.
Idle chatter or socializing is not my strength or comfort zone.
I prefer to share meaningful and positive stuff unless I am asked for help or spiritual guidance.
However, most people share at the surface level ,until there is a confidential and trust connection.
So responding with as much authenticity as possible seems best to me.

Our work in healing and healthy relationships is to create some form of joining (common goal)
To be honest and open without withholding love or being secretive.
To feel equal, we need to give our best in the moment and support the other in doing the same.
To be committed to making the connection, we need to be responsive to what is for the best of both.
To be response-able is to take impeccable care of ourselves so that we can respond to whatever is up.

Send me your authentic questions or door-openers for creating a mutually respectful connection.
Connecting with you by being a authentic and transparent as I can,
Betty Lue

Hmmmm. Wonder how I can navigate these things. Lookin’ good~

I am 11 months and not walking yet. But these stairs sure look interesting!