Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Relationship Work

In response couples whose relationships need serious healing work or separation: I am called to write this Loving Reminder.

What I believe is how I live,
with thought and prayer, words, both direct and indirect, and my actions and behavior (in all situations.)

I believe in the sanctity of marriage.
When blessed by a religious tradition, I believe we have committed to live by spiritual principles.
These principles are guidelines, best listed in a verbal and written pledge to one another.

I believe in the value of family,
keeping parents committed to modeling values of respect, responsibility and cooperation for their children. This mean respect for one another, being equally responsible for the household and parenting and cooperating with one another for the Good of all.

I believe in treating others, as I want to be treated.
This means kindness, trust and fidelity in thought as well as deed, honesty and openness, giving my very best at all times, speaking well of the other (no gossip or complaining to others), spending quality time listening and sharing, affection when desired, and appreciation for all the Goodness and contributions to the family.

I believe in equality.
Equality means both people give their best to one another and to themselves. They learn from one another. They openly share ideas, beliefs and opinions and respect differences. They are willing to give and receive from one another. sharing equally in rights and responsibilities work, household chores, finances, and parenting. Work hours are work hours both at home (no pay and outside for pay),

I believe in commitment to what is Highest and Best for Both.
If one is ill or in holistic difficulty, the other steps in being committed to give what is needed. If one is lost in confusion,, depression, mishandling their affairs, the other gives what is best for all, without sacrefice to themselves and without blame or resentment.

I believe in taking full responsibility for the relationship.
When both people as taking on 100% responsibility for the quality of the marriage, there will always be an abundance of love, trust and freedom for all concerned.

I believe in giving the marriage to God, Spirit, Higher Power, Principles of Truth and Love.
When we give our holy union to the Highest Good, there will be no hatred, no swearing, blaming or name-calling. There will be no unloving activities, pornography or crazy sex, alcohol abuse or drunkenness, street drugs, depression, silent treatment, greed, addictive behaviors like binging, shopping, gambling, TV on all the time . There will be respect, responsibility and cooperation.

When we are choosing to LOVE someone, the work is ours to clear the blocks to LOVE.
Love is an activity of mind, body and spirit. It is not emotionally based…although humans seem to learn that the emotions of fear, anger, jealousy, hatred, grief, hurt depression all block the activity of LOVE.

To commit to Love, to marriage, must be revisited periodically to assess where we have lost our way or forsaken our values. We must forgive ourselves and the other and recommit to the Highest and Best. Thus we will find true inner happiness and peace.

Bless us all for being willing.
Betty Lue

Our little guys deserve a healthy family with the trust and freedom that comes from the adult’s willingness to Remember LOVE!