Monday, July 17, 2006

Can You Care for Yourself?

Are you dependent on others?
Do you need others to entertain you?
Do you need others to approve of you?
Do you need others for company?
Do you need others to provide for you?
Do you need others to listen to you?
Do you need others to motivate you?

How do you need others to care for you?
Who do you need?
How much do you need them?
What do you need from them?
Do you ask or demand what you want?
Do they deliver what you need?
Do you accept their "No" as easily as their "YES"?
Do you let go of asking those who have nothing to give?
Do you give to those who have nothing?
Do you keep going to the dry well, expecting a flow?

Do you know how to give to others?
Do you let giving bring you joy?
Do you know how to receive from others?
Do you receive with genuine appreciation?
Do you feel grateful for all gifts of love?
Do you truly value whatever is given?
Do you give according to how you have received?

When we are dependent, others are aware and usually stay away.
When we are needy, usually others are cautious about their association.
When we are complaining, often others will leave to avoid our negativity.
When we are never satisfied, usually others quit trying to give to us.

Do you know how to care for yourself?
If you were not loved well or were deprived, you probably do not know how to love yourself.
If you were expected to satisfy others first, you may not feel safe in caring for yourself.
If your nurturing parent was needy and demanding, you may have learned to be needy and demanding.
If you have no model f appropriate self care, you may not have a picture of how to love yourself well.

Essentials for Balanced Self-Care
Quiet time for spiritual connection.
Time in nature for resonance with the Earth Mother.
Meaningful and productive work for a sense of value and fulfillment.
A healthy and healing relationship, (partner, friend or family member) with mutual respect and love.
Gratitude for everyday living.
Creating beauty and goodness for ourselves and others.
Respect for humanity and those with whom we connect daily.
Rest and recreation for renewal and enjoyment.
Education and inspiration from which to grow and develop a greater sense of life purpose.
Selfless service with joy for those who come for help.

I am encouraging those adults who are dependent to develop independence first.
From independence, healthy interdependent relationships will emerge, when we have discovered our own worth and self love.

Depending on God, Spirit within,
Betty Lue

Even at this age, they are actively developing independence.
To trust in the love and safety in your world supports being free.

With independence comes love, gratitude and mutual respect.

Age one and two are key for learning to believe in yourself.

Harper and Lila just before they were walking on their own.

The minute they could do it themselves they were happy and free!