Monday, February 13, 2006


You see into the heart of me.
I share with you all of me.
In my intimate sharing, I am trusting in your love.
And trusting you, you know I can be trusted, too.

Intimacy is really seeing into me.
"In to me see."
When you let me see into you,
I feel honored and validated.
When you respect and accept what you see in me,
I know I am safe and can trust in your unconditional love.
True intimacy is a precious gift to be given, when we can trust.
Women, hear this please.
The intimacy between men and women is compromised anytime we judge what men share with us.
When women seek to change, fix, manipulate and compare men, they are judging what is precious.
When women remember and remind men of their private sharing, men feel violated and disrespected.
When women talk to other women about their relationships, men feel belittled and betrayed.
Men withdraw, keep private thoughts to themselves, or go to their "cave" to protect their vulnerability.

Men, please hear this.
Intimacy between men and women is compromised, when you judge women weak, irrational or useless.
When the woman needs to express her feelings and men try to make it better, she may feel unheard.
When men feel guilty and responsible for women's happiness, they feel unable to share their feelings.
When men get angry for what isn't working in the woman's life, she feels more dependent and helpless.
When women just want to talk, men may get impatient and reject her feelings.
Women seek comfort and intimacy with their friends and children and may feel overlooked by their men.

If you want more intimacy, be more intimate.
If you want my honesty, be more honest.
If you want more affection, be more affectionate.
If you want more quality time, give more quality time.
If you want more flowers and gifts, give more gifts.
If you want more help, give more help.
If you want more non-judgmental listening, give more loving and listening.
Instead of asking for what you want.
Give what you want.
Creating comes from within not from getting the other to give it to us.

Create conditions of confidentiality (Never talk to others about your relationship without permission.)
Choose times of focused conversation. (No distracting music, TV phone call or side conversations.)
Make quality time together. (Choose activities and timing that are ideal for both of you.)
Give conscious words of appreciation and love in written notes, cards, phone calls, and sweet moments.
Listen for exactly what is wanted and valued. Accept and affirm what your partner wants.
Give all you can without sacrifice or resentment. (Take impeccable care of your own needs.)
Forgive all errors of conscious and unconscious omission and commission. (Value all learning mistakes.)

Life is for giving.
You are the gift.
It is in giving your authentic Self
That you recognize the Gift you Are.

Loving you,
Betty Lue