Monday, January 30, 2006

Coaching and Counseling

People seek out helpers to listen, to learn, to get advice, to create solutions, to find a better way.

Everyone wants and needs something different, something unique to their ability to learn and benefit.
What you may want and need may not be what your coach or counselor can offer.
What you want may not be what you need.
What you want may not be what is helpful.
What you want may not be in your best interest.

When you choose who to ask for help, first set an intention for your desired outcome.
Ask within who might be the best person to join, assist and support your desired outcome.

If you want agreement, go to a pleaser or someone you know will agree with you.
If you want to learn something, go to the expert who may be the most knowledgeable and best teacher.
If you want inspiration and encouragement, see out the most inspiring and supportive person you know.
If you want someone to listen and reflect back what you are saying, ask for exactly what you want.
If you want to be soothed and comforted, go to one who is nurturing and sympathetic.
If you want to be questioned and challenged on your limited perspective, ask for an expansive thinker.
If you want to take responsibility for your life, choose one who is responsible for their life.
If you want to heal woundedness and fear, seek a fearless healer who will reassure and teach healing.

It is your choice as to whom you seek for the help you want.
If what you receive is not best for you, simply choose again.

At times your best friend or trusted coach or counselor may fit your needs.
At times you may need to seek a diversity of helpful mentors for support.
At times you may need to provide yourself with exactly what you need and want.
At times you may take whatever you get, because you feel so desperate.

Always remember you are the chooser.
When we choose a minister, spiritual advisor, personal trainer, physician or attorney, be clear about what you really want.
Notice if you feel heard and respected.
Notice if you feel safe and connected.
Notice if you are honest and met with honesty.
Notice if you are given the time and attention you deserve.
Notice if you feel confident and assured.
Notice if you are helped and feel positive.
All of your observations are valid and valuable information in choosing.
To save, time, money, energy and disappointment, you must choose what you know to be best for you.

Your choices matter,
Betty Lue