Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Encourage the Best

We are flying off to Asheville, NC tomorrow early AM to spend time with my Mom and help with computer, home renewal, offering a workshop "Leading from the Heart, Empowering Yourself and Others" and book signings for Robert and I at Malaprops Bookstore. It will be a full and eventful five days of time with dear friends and supporters, as well as meeting new friends. Always know you can contact us via #800-919-2392 voicemail. Stay Awake, teach Love and give your Best.

To encourage the best in yourself and others, you need to reinforce what you want to strengthen and grow.
Psychological research and metaphysical truth has demonstrated that what you give attention to increases.

What you pay attention to , with negative criticism or with laughter and enjoyment, will be repeated.
Attention reinforces the value of the behavior.
Getting upset and angry will often encourage.
When people cannot get positive reactions, they look for any reaction at all, including being punished.
Children who are ignored will get in trouble or hurt themselves just to get the attention of their parents.
The clown or distracter is created by laughter, amusement and our attention.
The difficult or disobedient child is simply looking for Love in all the wrong ways.
The helpless or needy child gets attention and help from their helplessness.
The independent, helpful and heroic child get approval for their behavior.
The same is true for adults as for children.

All beings are seeking to be loved, valued, needed and given attention.
Rewards encourage the behavior being rewarded.
Punishments encourage the behavior being punished.
Both will reinforce the behavior.

The most effective way to extinguish behavior is to ignore it.
Ignoring requires no notice, no laughter, no comments, no anger or critical comment.

The effective parent will notice what behavior they want to encourage.
You can encourage with laughter, applause, approval, gratitude, touch, gift, privileges, special time.
When encouraged skillfully, even the difficult person can be encouraged to give their best.

These same principles of reinforcement and extinguishing behaviors can also be applied to oneself.
Give yourself reward of attention, appreciation and love for those habits and choices you want to make.
Ignore, forgive, let go and easily release any negative attention to behaviors you want to undo.

All of us have grown up learning to give and get negativity when we do something wrong.
Few have grow up getting appreciation for doing what is "right".
We have created a culture where terror, drugs, illness and problems are rewarded with constant focus in media, education, politics, and social interaction. And they are increasing.
It is time for each one of us to reward those in our presence who are contributing, living in integrity, making a difference without seeking attention. It is also time to look for the behaviors in those in trouble which we can appreciated and encourage.

Use the power of positive attention to encourage what you want to build in yourself, your family, you community and world.

Encouraging us all to be our best,
Betty Lue