Thursday, July 14, 2005

No Assumptions, Please

We want to believe others see what we see.
We want to know others know what we know.
We want to experience we are understood.
We want to have a feeling of belonging, safety and agreement.

Human beings learn from infancy to project our thoughts, feelings and choices onto others.
First, we are imprinted by our parents interpretations of what they experience.
Then we are imprinted by our experiences with nature, playmates, teachers and others.
We often become sensitive to psychic energies, as well as body posture, tone of voice, etc.
From our sensory and intuitive input of billions of pieces of data every millisecond, of which we can only consciously absorb 5-10 bits (they say), we make judgments, comparisons and evaluate.
We make assumptions and draw conclusions about the perceptions, motivations and choices of others and our world.
Usually we are incorrect.
We see what we want to see.
Our mind seeks agreement, so looks for evidence we are right in what we believe.
Our mental process screens out what would make us look bad or vulnerable or different.

Each one sees everything differently.
Each one of us even sees colors differently than others.
Each one sees a piece of the whole picture through judgmental eyes of belief, attitude and past history.
Each one makes up the attitudes, beliefs, motivations, and choices of what is going on for others.
We are wrong about the other.
We cannot know what the other person sees, believes, thinks, feels or the filters they have.

The best we can do is to identify and own our own uniqueness.
The best we can do is to discover and understand our own fears, defenses and motivations.
The best we can do is to admit we don't know, ask what is true and hope the other will communicate.
The best we can do is to create a safe and non judgmental space in which others can discover and share.
The best we can do is to admit when we are projecting.
The best we can do is to forgive ourselves for making up others as the underlying cause of our problems.
The best we can do is stop hoping someone else can see and decide for us.
The best we can do is acknowledge our willingness to learn about ourselves, others and our world.
The best we can do is to be open and willing, accepting and appreciative.

For the first 40 years of my life, I actually believed most people were raised in unconditionally loving homes where they were nurtured and encouraged to grow into their potential, as I was.
I now always recognize the unlimited potential, the enlightened mind and open heart in everyone, and I acknowledge and respect that most people wear filtered perceptions, limiting beliefs and life choices as defenses to protect themselves.
I now see that people keep their shields up, until they come into a space of freedom and trust where they can experiment, explore and discover their own Greatness.
Until we can become the safe and all-loving space where it is safe for others to fully share their journey of Self-discovery, I encourage us to be honest with ourselves about assumptions, projections, judgments, distorted filters, limiting beliefs and our conditional love and acceptance.
Our true work here is not to help others.
It is to help ourselves by clearing our minds of the illusions within our own perception.

Some would say, Let Go and let God.
Some would say, Listen within and allow the One who sees All to guide you in your perceptions and communication.
Some would way, Trust and free yourself and others from thinking you know.
Some would say, Forgive and erase your own mind to find unconditional love and trust.

We are here to unlearn whatever is untrue and unloving, so that we might see and know what is True and Loving.

Loving you,
Betty Lue