Thursday, November 13, 2003

Respectful Interaction

In this fast paced and often “taking for granted” world, we may lose respect for ourselves and our loved ones without even noticing. Often there are familial habits from our childhood that are unconsciously repeated in our home relationships.
Respectful communication is of value for each individual’s well being, as well as a necessity for the success of the relationship.
Helpful Reminders:
Get permission to speak before interrupting another’s activities.
Wait to be acknowledged. Knock before entering, etc.
Recognize the value of the other’s time and attention.
Don’t assume you come first.
Ask for what you want with openness to an honest response.
Recognize “No” means nothing about the degree of Love or approval.
Never go to bed without clearing the upset.
When upset, take responsibility for your own feelings.
Take time alone when needed.
Sit and ask yourself (The real reason I am upset is….. ) Let your ego vent.
Ask Spirit, “What is the real reason for my upset and how do I heal?”
Share your personal awareness with the other, when of learning value to the relationship.
Remember to consistently to say “Please” and “Thank you.”
“ I am sorry for your upset.” “I apologize for my error” is of value in healing.
Be real, open and honest in your communication.
If you have time to talk, say so. If not, say so and let the other know when might be a better time.
Make appointments for quality communication.
Plan on at least weekly conversations to take a look at the quality of the relationship and how you might improve.
Take responsibility for yourself, without trying to fix, change or argue with the other.
Arguments consume energy. No need to argue unless you enjoy it.
State you opinion or position clearly with as much emotion as you feel.
Ask the other to state their position. Let go of trying to agree.
Agree to disagree. It is natural to see and respect different points of view.
The more we respect and honor ourselves, the more we respect and honor others.
The more we respect and honor ourselves, the more others respect and honor us.
The more we respect and honor ourselves, the more others respect and honor themselves.
High self-esteem people trust sharing differing points of view without losing other’s love.
To love someone is to believe in their right to choose what is best for them.
To love someone is to earnestly encourage them to explore and discover what way is best for them.
To love someone is to trust in their choices, even though they may not be yours.
To love someone is to free the other person to live life their way without trying to control or “guilt” them into following your way.
There is much more....... (Free conscious Relating Workshop this Sunday.)
Take a look at what you can choose or change in your patterns which will have the most positive effect on the quality of your relationship with others.

Loving You,
Betty Lue