Friday, November 21, 2003

Just Say “YES”

Saying No” requires so much more energy than saying “YES.
Have you ever thought that “No” comes from fear and resistance?
Many times I have said, “God is the Voice that says ‘Yes’.”

In working with parents, there are many occasions in which it is quickest and easiest just to say ”No” . However, the resultant resistance and hurt is not worth the ease. Saying ‘no” often leads to more of the same…. a temper tantrum or endless questions about “Why?” or even more requests with a variety of tactics to get their own way. Children have a persistence and resilience which leads to an unlimited repertoire.
If saying “No” is your usual response to whatever disagrees with your own choices, it may be wise to reconsider.
“No” is the voice of fear, resistance, fixed opinions, being in a hurry, too busy to listen, needing to be right, and taking control.
“My way or the Highway” may tell more truth than we realize.
Our limited viewpoint may be from our egoic fear, when we could listen to the High Truth and come from Love.

When invited to respond to another’s request, it is healing to listen for how you can say “YES”.
How can you be encouraging and supportive?
How can you find a way to join with the other?
How can you be the voice of trust and freedom, the voice of Love?
How can you see from the other’s viewpoint.
How can you forgive the past and see with new eyes.?
How can you try out a new position?
How can you give the other permission to do what they want and have the full experience?
How can you let go of your own judgment and help the other explore?

To simply say ”No” often creates a barrier, a separation, a vote of no confidence, a sign of distrust, a hierarchy of command.
The healing preference in relationships which are growing in Love is to open the door to intimacy, to drop the illusion of separation, to be confident and trusting, to see what the win/win solution might be.
Look for a way to say “Yes”.
Ask questions.
Listen for their underlying goal.
Take time to clear your own past limitations.
Seek another way.
Choose a response in which everyone wins.

Loving you,
Betty Lue