Monday, July 30, 2012

Friendship Is The Foundation

Friendship is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
When we treat everyone as a friend, we are respectful, honest and trusting.
When we interact with others as friends, we accept them as they are.
When we relate to our partner, children, parents and family first as friends, we love them. 

We each have differing definitions of friends based on our life experience.
Friends for me are people we like and enjoy their companionship.
When we are open-minded and appreciative,  we can really see the love and the call for love.
When we are willing to be response-able for the quality of our relationships, we respond with Love.

Friendship is the lasting bond of unconditional love.
Friendship is founded on freedom and trust.
Friendship is the authentic bond of lasting love.
Friendship is the key to loyal, equal, committed relationships.

Why not develop friendship in all our significant relationships?
When marriage relationships are based on friendship, nothing will interfere.
When partners in love develop a friendship first, there are no conditions to divide.
When our relationships are built on friendship, we always place what is best for both first.

Friends living together as married partners is more common than is recognized.
Friends working together as a team to raise kids, develop projects, run businesses is healthy.
Friends usually easily discuss differing ideas, make decisions, forgive mistakes and return to love.
Friends like each other and let go of what they don’t like.

When we step away from the stereotype of roles in marriage, we see infinite options.
There is no need for attachment, and dependency, but there can be.
There is no need for arguing and fights, but there can be.
There is no need for separation and divorce, but there can be.
There is no need for having children, buying houses and living together, but there can be.

In our relationships, we can choose to make ourselves and the other SPECIAL.
When we do have special relationships, they work when each meets the other’s expectations.
When we don’t meet the other’s expectations, the relationship becomes special hate.
When we do meet the other’s expectations, we experience special Love.

Relationships are conditional when they are based on meeting another’s needs and conditions.
Relationships are unconditional when they are based on trust and freedom for one another.
Relationships are healed and holy when we love one another just the way we are.
Authentic Loving Relationships change form over time, but we never stop loving.

What have you chosen for your primary relationships?
Are you friends or do you need others to meet your needs?
Are you controlling, demanding, judging and punishing?
Are you freeing, trusting, forgiving and appreciative?

Choose your way of relating and you will either free yourself in love or bind yourself in fear.
Loving you,  
Betty Lue

Recommendations for All Relationships 
With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.

Keep your agreements faithfully.
(Communicate changes honestly and immediately.)

Give more than you expect to receive. 
Do more than your “fair” share.

Receive everything with open appreciation.
Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.

Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.
Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.  

Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably. 
Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.

Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.
Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.

Communicate effectively and respectfully.
Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.

Be your best self in all circumstances.
Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)

Use your time together wisely.
Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.

Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.
Waste nothing in your relationship.  No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.

There are many more agreements which I encourage you and your partner to write together.
I encourage all parties to take time to re-evaluate your agreements monthly or on a regular basis.

As circumstances change, there is a need to re-commit to what works for all participants.
Families need to meet to look at the specific needs of each individual to be at their best.
Couples need to ensure that the relationship is “serving all parties.
Business partners need to return to their original agreement and consider changing roles as needed.

Life requires that we be in relationship.
With respect for ourselves and each other there is open communication.
With responsibility for the quality of our relationships, there is a willingness to seek what works for all.
With cooperation there is encouragement to listen for ways to serve the needs of everyone.
When everyone WINS, the relationships are harmonious, peaceful and enjoyable.

Blessings to us all in our willingness to continue to explore and find better ways of relating,  
Betty Lue