Friday, October 23, 2009

Conscious Communication

You are Love.
Love never quits or threatens or demand.
Love expresses itself with freedom and trust.
Love needs not correct.
Love does not worry.
Love has no limits.
Love is patient.
Love trusts.
Love is respectful.
Love listens from the heart.
Love is quiet.
Love holds the space of Love.
Love extends peace.
Love inspires by example.
Love heals.
Love is open and willing.
Love does no harm.
LOVE says YES.

Some examples:
When asked for help, give it (unless it does harm to yourself or the other.)
Make sure your helpfulness is empowering to the other, rather than weakening with dependency.
When you see something that needs to be done, do it.
Or speak with the person who has accepted the responsibility for doing it.
When you see something to criticize or correct, make sure your own affairs are 100% in order.
Your example is more powerful than any words.
If you must say something learn to be inspiring and effective, rather than critical or belittling.
Assess when is the best time and ask if the other is open to hearing your ideas or feedback.
Be clear when you communicate. I feel……I want, prefer, suggest……..I am willing………….
Respect the others ideas, intention and energy. The fastest way to offend (attack) another is to criticize.
Always seek to listen, clarify and understand the other, before trying to get them to understand you.
Be open when you ask questions and quiet your own mind when you listen. What they say is important.
Remember you upset, emotional state impacts and distorts what you see and think and say.
Take time to clear emotions, find inner peace, remember Love and then respectfully look again.
Most (if not all) upsets, judgments and criticisms are based on past similar unhealed situations.
Heal yourself and your fears and failures and mistakes before you comment on another’s.
Help and advise only when asked, with a set time and place, and recognition that you are valued.
Give advice and counsel when there is a confidential place/time and you are compensated with respect.
Be honest with what and how much you give to another. Never martyr or over give.
If you do not know how to help, acknowledge and refer. If you have a limited opinion, say so.

The biggest mistakes when we are communicating with those we love are:
We attack with criticism or suggestions that deny the others right to choose their way.
We believe that our way is more right or better than any other way.
We choose inappropriate timing or place or words that hurt rather than inspire.
We want agreement right away, rather than letting there be some time to reflect and choose again.
Reexamine your communication, to see:
Is it inspiring and motivating?
Is it helpful and supportive?
Is it respectful and empowering?
Is it creating more trust and freedom?
Is it effective and appreciative?

You can undo past mistakes by forgiving yourself, and simply choose again to find a better way.

Loving you each and every day,
Betty Lue

This is for you and all those in your life.

You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life

If you would grow to be your best self
Be patient, not demanding
Accepting, not condemning
Nurturing, not withholding
Self-marveling, not belittling
Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing

For you are more sensitive than you know
Mankind is tough as war
Yet delicate as flowers
We can endure agonies
But we open fully only to warmth & light
And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance
Dispersed by storms of will
To return only when those storms are still

So accept, respect,
Attend your sensitivity

A flower
Cannot be opened
With a hammer