Friday, July 31, 2009

How to Listen

Are you willing to really listen to another’s truths?
Are you able to heart their most heartfelt feelings?
Are you able to understand the meaning beneath the words?
Can you tell when there is something more to be shared?

Do you hear between the silence between the words?
Can you feel what really matters?
Are you able to see through their eyes and experience?
Do you know that love seeks only to respond with love?

Somehow we think we need to correct others misperceptions.
We believe it is helpful to clean up their messes.
We try figure our how to fix them, rather than be with them.
We go for the “right” answer, rather than respond with kind words.

It is always up to the most conscious person to do the work in communicating.
It is usually going to be YOU, the one caring enough to read this reminder!
So take a deep breath when you are going to really listen with your heart.
Let go of your “thinking” mind and simply be present with trust in the other.

Join them wherever they are in thoughts, ideas, feelings and beliefs.
In order to really listen you need to know what they mean by the words used.
In order to understand, you need to see with their perception, different than yours.
In order to communicate, you must clarify what they are saying and meaning.

To really hear another, it is essential to create a “safe” space for them to speak.
To create a ‘safe’ place, there can be no disagreeing or judgment in your mind or your words.
To build a safe place, there needs to be unconditional positive regard for the speaker.
To give room for full free expression, there must be a willingness to hear it all without interfering.

It is through fully communicating our deepest feelings, that we discover how we are accepted.
It is by being listened to with love that we come to know we are safe.
It is with total acceptance of our experience that we feel someone is there for and with us.
It is in being trusted and given the freedom to express that we truly realize we are loved.

Make it a practice to listen with you heart with a quiet mind.
You will be surprised how deeply you connect with the speaker.
More healing occurs. More trust is established.
More honesty is revealed. And you need to nothing more than listen……….

Loving you and listening,
Betty Lue