Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Honoring Differences

Are you tolerant of the differences you see in your family?
Are you only accepting people who think and act like you?
Do you believe everyone is doing their best at the time?
Are you tolerant of others pace, work ethic, values, lifestyle?

We do not have to agree or believe or understand everyone.
We are happiest when we can allow each one to have their own way.
When others beliefs, habits or behavior infringes on ours, we need to communicate.
When we try to live with, work with, socialize with those who are different, we may feel disrespected.

To respect ourselves is to communicate our beliefs, habits, preferences and choices.
To respect ourselves is to not allow others to do harm to us.
To respect ourselves is to recognize we are not loving ourselves and choose differently.
To respect ourselves is to step away from situations which are not good for us.

Ignorance is obvious.
When someone ignores or does not know, we must be wise enough to believe them.
When someone does not know, we can easily ask if they would like to know better.
If they do not care or do not dare to try, we need to respectfully let it go.

When we are asked for help….
How can I do better?
How can I treat you better?
How can I get your approval?
We can be willing to patiently educate, inform and inspire without judgment.

When we are not asked for help…..
We can ask if they want to know
What would be helpful?
What we would prefer?
What would make a difference?
We can listen without judgment and accept their response.

Learning to step away, when we are attached or invested, in getting our way, may be difficult.
When we learn to love, trust and respect ourselves first, we can easily love, trust and respect others too.
Each one of us chooses our relationships, work places, types of languaging and behavior, lifestyle, etc.
We can love, accept and trust everyone to choose differently than we do.

When we can acknowledge that love is allowing rather than conforming, we can let go.
When we can accept and let people choose freely what is right for them, we can forgive.
When we can understand that everyone woman and man is here to learn in their own way, we can be free.
When we can give ourselves permission to choose our best relationships and lifestyle, we love ourselves.

Intolerance, criticism and attack seems to come from trying to make others be what we want.
Tolerance, forgiveness and respect seem to come from letting people learn from their own choices.
When people want help, they will ask.
When they want to know, they will seek answers.

When we let go and allow others to be different, we set ourselves free to trust. 

Loving and respecting all,
Betty Lue
¤      I love you and I know you love me too.

The freedom for you and I to be who we are.
The freedom to live life as we do.
The freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.
The freedom to express our own truth as we see it.

The trust that there is a constant flow of love, 
no matter what.
The trust that, in spite of life’s problems, 
we believe in and support each other’s right 
to live as we choose.
The trust that in adversity, 
there is healing and learning and gifts of love.
The trust that under conflict and emotional expression,
there is love

I love you and I trust you.
I free you to be all you are.

Betty Lue 1978

Getting Free
(By Setting Others Free)
It is not unusual for us human beings to secretly wish and hope that the people we’re close to don’t become too magnificent. We don’t really want these significant others to be too free or too powerful or too creative or too successful or to dream too wild a dream. We actually prefer that they stay small, “manageable”, non-threatening, tame. After all, we don’t want to be made to feel uncomfortable or inadequate or diminished or challenged by the boldness and joyfulness with which someone else lives his or her life.
But, until we are willing and actively desire that the key people in our lives be totally free and powerful, we cannot be free and powerful ourselves. So, here is an affirmation-prayer that may help us begin freeing others, so that we can begin to free ourselves.

I, _____(your name)_____ want you, _____(his or her name)_____, to be the highest, clearest, most powerful expression of God that you can be. I would not limit you in any way, knowing that only as I encourage you to expand, explore and grow, can I myself be free. So I fully support you in being and expressing all that you are.
I want you to go where you feel called to go, to speak and act as you feel guided, and to express yourself in whatever ways seem right. There is nothing I do not want you to do, for I know that all movement is contained within God and always leads us to Him.
I am at peace with whatever decisions and choices you make, no matter how they may seem to affect me. Since I know that God loves and supports me perfectly, I know that however you choose to be with me must be a manifestation of that divine love and support. Because I trust God, I trust you. And because I trust you, I trust myself.
So, be free, be powerful, be unlimited. And know that I, _________, want you, _________, to be the highest, clearest, most powerful expression of God that you can be. I fully support you in being all that you are.