Monday, October 25, 2010

Respectful Communication

Communicate in the manner in which you would appreciate receiving communication.

Treat yourself and others with respect.

Consciously think, speak, write and act in respectful ways toward everyone.
Make it a habit, a natural way of thinking and talking, to communicate with respect.
Our families, communities, businesses and schools need our respectful modeling.

Stop using profanity, even if it is popular.
Start using simple etiquette in language.
Excuse me. Please and Thank you.  May I speak with you?

Speak or call or write when you have something meaningful to say.

When you use the phone, be very clear about your name, reason for calling and request.
End conversations with appreciation.  Thanks for your time. Have a good day.

Take no ones time for trivial things, gossip, opinions and just filling time with nonsense.
Always ask if the listener has time to converse.  “Is this a good time to talk with you?”

Functional communication tool:

Express your true feelings and wants one time only and then listen to what the other feels and wants.
I feel…….
I want……
I am willing…….


To repeat our requests and/or feelings over and over sounds like nagging and complaining.

It is an ineffective way to get another’s attention and often yields defensiveness or withdrawal.
To state our need, want or desire one time accurately with authentic feeling has major impact as long as we are silent after a short sentence allowing the listener to really “hear” us.
Our follow-up must be to then respectfully ask how they feel and what they want after we shared.

It is always important to give equal time to both parties.

It is most effective when we speak in a tone and with body language and words that are respectful.
When we condemn, make fun, criticize or accuse, we turn off the other’s ability to respond honestly.
When we actually seek for resolution and peace, we create it with our attitude, our words and behavior.

The less we communicate face-to-face, the more we miss in how we are being received.

When you know someone well and there is a mutual trust and respect, email and text can work.
When there is strong emotion or you know little about one another, personal contact is essential.
Too often we hide (protect our vulnerability) by using impersonal communication or avoidance.

The goal and definition of  “COMMUNICATION” is to “come together as one, in unity…….

When you fail to connect and feel united, you lose  respect, trust, power and inner peace.
The more we accumulate experience of loss of connection and ineffective communication, the less successful we will be in future relationships and in life.
We lose confidence, trust and respect with others and with ourselves when we are ineffective.

Perhaps this loving reminder is a wakeup call to make some changes.

Perhaps you need to forgive all your past mistakes.
Perhaps you are called to affirm your willingness to communicate always for the highest good in mind!
Perhaps you simply need to love enough to let go of your fear of miscommunication.

I am loving you, 

Betty Lue