Sunday, February 28, 2010

Roadblocks to Love

Often I focus on the positive and direct route to Love.
For some this may sound impossible or “airey-fairy”.
For others it is known and valued and simply a reminder.
And for others it is an eye-opener and an “aha” moment.

My morning talk at Unity Center for Inspired Living needs the basics of how we “inter-fear” with Love.
The roadblocks to Love are prevalent and accepted in our culture, on media and in everyday friendships.
Gossip, withholding, dishonesty, comparison, demanding, quitting, selfishness, defensiveness, blaming and distrust are a few of the usual and customary roadblocks to Love.

To talk about others behind their back is hurtful and destructive to all concerned.  (Speaker, listener and the one being talked about.) What we sow we reap. What we listen to, we give tacit encouragement.

When we give love, attention and appreciation intermittently, we teach others their behavior determines their worth. When we withhold love, we block the flow of love energy in us.  It is not helpful for either.

When we fib, lie or practice deception, we are teaching that lying is what we want.  Lies beget lies and we build relationships which cannot be trusted.  No one feels safe or at peace.

Judging, evaluating and comparing teach that we need to measure up to an external standard to be loved.
Everyone is unique with their own strengths, talents and natural gifts, their own purpose for being.

When we demand or threaten (“You better or else…”), we lead others to believe we are loving them based on our own conditions for right behavior and attitude.  We create separation and resistance.

To threaten to quit or to quit on loving, is dangerous and harmful to the quitter as much as the loser.  When we quit, we are reinforcing the belief others will quit on us, so we better be careful.

When we want things our way (“My way or the high way…”) or when we are only looking at our own interests, we cannot see the need for others to feel safe and loved to give their best.

To be vigilant for always protecting our own rightness, we shut own the possibility of learning, healing and interfere with the openness and appreciation through which Love flows.

When we blame, criticize, tattle on someone, we set them up because of our fears.  When we support, encourage, appreciate and keep confidence, we inspire trust and accountability. We are loving.

To do not trust others, we are teaching them not to trust themselves and not to trust us.
Trust builds trustworthiness. Trusting is based on believing and seeing what is possible.

While there are many more obstacles to Love, these are the ones often taught and found in our society.
If we even undo one of the roadblocks, more love can flow.  When we foster the flow of love, we will seek ways around the obstacles that may appear.
Loving is the way we create health, happiness and fulfillment.

Love is freedom from fear and trust in the Good.

Loving Us All as One,
Betty Lue

¤      I love you      ¤

and I know you love me too.

The freedom for you and I to be who we are.
The freedom to live life as we do.
The freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.
The freedom to express our own truth as we see it.

The trust that there is a constant flow of love,
no matter what.
The trust that, in spite of life’s problems,
we believe in and support each other’s right
to live as we choose.
The trust that in adversity,
there is healing and learning and gifts of love.
The trust that under conflict and emotional expression,
there is love

I love you and I trust you.
I free you to be all you are.

Betty Lue 1978

Three little exuberant guests at the Lake House playing music, dancing and having fun!