Thursday, February 18, 2010

Be Responsible for Change

When in doubt, be grateful.
When afraid, be reassuring.
When angry, be compassionate.
When hurt, love yourself.

Too often we let our emotional and mental state be a stuck place where we wallow.
Too many times we express our feelings as though they are meant to be our leader.
Too frequently we give the excuse of disrespect and irresponsibility by naming our feelings.
If you don’t value what you feel, change it immediately!

If your thoughts are not helpful or healthy, stop and choose again.
If your feelings are hurtful or destructive, stop and choose again.
If your attitude is in a funk and your mouth is in the toilet, clean up before you engage with others.
If your behavior is disrespectful or attacking, put yourself in a “timeout” until you can apologize.

People learn from their family systems and role models how to manage their emotions.
Children learn from their parents what to repress and what to express.
Society has swung like a pendulum from repression and depression to “say it all.”
Media has encouraged the sensational, disrespectful and finger-pointing of disrespect and conflict.

It is bad manners to treat anyone with disrespect.
It is also ineffective and usually leads nowhere good.
It is immature to behave in ways which are accusatory and critical.
It lacks respect for oneself and usually yields overt or covert counter-attack.

When we accept responsibility for the quality of relationship we have at home and work, we begin to observe our own issues, attitudes, tone of communication, body language and overall method of treating others.
When we experience the quality of relationship we want (respect and cooperation), we know success.
When we are experiencing something less than the best, we must look within and choose again.

First, observe how you are treating yourself in  your thoughts, attitudes, words and behavior.
How you treat yourself is teaching others how to treat you.
Then notice how your engage and communicate with others.
Watch their reactions and responses to see whether they trust, love and respect you and themselves.

Life is a constant learning laboratory for studying our relationships and our impact on others.
Life offers us daily lessons and feedback on how successful we are.
When we are righteous, arrogant, resentful and demanding, others resist and resent us.
When we are open, appreciative, forgiving and flexible, others are receptive and respond to us.

Be grateful that you can change your mind, your attitude, your behavior and your emotions.
Be grateful that you get instant feedback on your approach to those with whom you relate.
Be grateful that you are at the helm of change and can practice daily being open to better ways.
Be appreciative that your love, respect and trust in yourself and others will yield success.

Loving us all in our learning and growth daily,
Betty Lue