Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Regarding Illness

Note: This is from my husband, Robert.

How could someone wise and spiritually awakened, become sick?
How could a healer succumb to illness?
How could someone of your level of awareness fall under the spell of the world?
If it's all illusion anyway, why can't you just change your mind?
How could someone who has helped so many find their own healing now appear to need help?

These (and many other related wonderings) are all ways of asking the age-old question,
"Why do bad things happen to good people?"

In many ways, the very fact that these questions are being asked suggests that there may be more to what is going on than meets the (worldly) eye. It also raises the very real need to ask another question: "How can I be truly helpful?" Even better, "What is truly helpful in this circumstance, for this person?" The answers are not always what the world, our experience and even our teaching may suggest.

If I were a musician, there would be music to the refrain that echoes in my mind:

He who looks like "disabled" or "broken"
May know guidance unheard and unspoken.
For this life's not of body, but of soul.
He who seems to be broken may be whole.


Does that mean that the "guidance" is consciously heard or known? Probably not.
Does that imply that the guidance is of divine or holy origin? Not necessarily. Many times, that "different drummer" which is being danced to is egoic and not at all spiritual.

It has been said that it is not what happens to us, but how we respond to or handle what happens to us that is the true value of any experience and defines or determines our character. That's true. And it also, conveniently, lets us off the hook. After all, given that world view, we are still victims and separated from experiencing our true power, which comes only from acknowledging our creative responsibility for the circumstances we experience.

The misapplication or misinterpretation of this is the world's number one metaphysical guilt trip. It is used against us by others who feel superior to us (or want to make sure they can continue to feel superior) and it is used by us to keep ourselves victimized and limited, or because we don't know any better. There is only one antidote to this particular form of guilt (and probably all others) that I know of. Very simple stated:

Awareness without judgment is healing.

This opens the possibility of choosing again (and, perhaps differently) so that we can experience a future which is different from our past and present. It was Einstein who said something like: "The problems of our world cannot be solved by the level of thinking which created them."

Play a little mental music again and listen to the second refrain going through my mind:

How to be in the world, yet not of it?
The only way to survive is to love it.
To be fully immersed, yet above it
Is to be in the world, yet not of it.


So enough philosophy. Let's get to a little truth about me personally.

I have spent this lifetime (so far) being very much in the world, yet maintaining enough detachment to be a very good teacher and leader-by-example for those looking for a better way to relate to themselves as spiritual beings having a physical experience. I have taken that train about as far down the track as it will go.

Many years ago, I wrote in "The Tao of Robert":

It is wise to come to the orchard
When fruit is plentiful.
In this way, one is filled.
The foolish remain beyond the bearing season
And are diminished,
Attempting to feast on what is no longer present.

To hire appropriate transportation
To take one to his chosen destination
Is wise.
To remain in the coach once one has arrived
Is foolishness or fear.


What was I to do when the bearing season was past and when my coach had arrived? I have to admit that I had become rather attached to all of the abilities, tools and techniques that had gotten me so far and so comfortably. I was also aware (very consciously, I might add) that as long as I still had the ability to be the person I was, I would choose to—even if that was not who I was called to be any longer.

Did I deliberately choose MS and frontal lobe syndrome and whatever else the world says I have? No, not the form, but I was definitely aware of the underlying spiritual intention. Be clear here (it will help me greatly): It was not and is not "God's Will" that I experience the physical and mental problems I am experiencing. What I currently experience is my personal spiritual choice, which I am temporarily using to support myself in following my life path, until I am willing to follow that path even when I have the ability to do otherwise.

How you can help:
Don't wish me healing. I am already whole.
Don't want me to be the way I was. It is no longer appropriate or healthy.
Don't offer me magic (drugs, vitamins, diet, therapeutic/holistic practices, etc.) which reinforces the perception of illness.
DO see me happily living my life on purpose and don't begrudge me the crutch I am temporarily using to help me stay true to my soul.
Know that I am, and will always be, Robert. Nothing has essentially changed (i.e. my essence has not changed). I would like to think that I am now able to be even more present with you and for you.

To the extent that this may also apply to others in your life, and even to you, personally, take this to heart.

Once more, the refrains (to help me remember):

He who looks like "disabled" or "broken"
May know guidance unheard and unspoken.
For this life's not of body, but of soul.
He who seems to be broken may be whole.


and

How to be in the world, yet not of it?
The only way to survive is to love it.
To be fully immersed, yet above it
Is to be in the world, yet not of it.


With gratitude and respect,
Robert